#and he texted me basically right after saying that he had read them and wanting to come over and talk

[cynassa]

Hi!! would you mind elaborating on the lobotomy and Jason is trans metaphor? 👀 I'm very interested

Hallo! I'm so sorry this is so late and still incoherent but i prommy it is less incoherent than a week ago when I first started writing it in between three microecon assignments SO:

Content warning: talk of abuse, conversion therapy, homelessness, not pleasant about Bruce Wayne

Most of the time I have to say about my headcanons that I don't know where they come from, but with Jason-is-trans, i know EXACTLY where it's from:

"No one's son" – welllllll, there’s a thought. (I know that’s not how Winick intended it, but forget that.)

Now, I'm not sorted on whether he's a man or woman or non-binary or whatever, but I do think this is an important part of who he is. We all focus a lot on what Jason wanted from his father, but it IS important that at some point in this entire mess, he also decided that he's okay with not having parents, and that we basically see him completely reinventing himself.

The rest of it is honestly just vibes. Three specific things stand out to me:

Jason outgrowing the Robin costume/choosing his own identity: this very strongly reads to me as the trans child choosing their own identity while their parent(s) memorialise the child they thought they had. Jason has (both literally) outgrown the costumes his foster father put him in, including the one that Bruce has memorialised forever. He’s about a foot too tall and too big for them, but also he does not want to be Robin anymore. His antipathy to a new Robin would also take on interesting new dimensions if he felt forced to be a certain type of boy in order to be in that costume, and he didn’t want, in fact, to be that type of boy, or a boy at all. Or even if he was okay, at that time, but found after some years that no, actually, this isn’t what he wants to be, and he’s angry then, because people shouldn’t be forced to be a certain type of boy? Anyway, it would be delicious angst-fest but that’s not what I’m writing right now.

All of the bits where Bruce is still mourning Jason when Jason is literally right there: This is so so so on-the-nose for a certain type of parent when their kids tell them they’re trans. Jason is alive, but he’s not Jason, and he’s alive but he’s not the Jason that Bruce imagined he would be, or he’s alive but does he have to be this way, or maybe he isn’t alive really, because how could this be Jason. And all the while Jason is standing there being like ‘I’m alive, my death isn’t the most important thing about me, that isn’t why we see things differently’ while Bruce just keeps insisting that if Jason isn’t exactly the type of man Bruce wants him to be, then Jason doesn’t have the right to exist in Gotham (in comic book terms, this might mean he doesn’t exist at all, as many characters don’t ‘make it’ in solo runs outside of the core stories.) Does that make Jason trans? Not in text! But the metaphor stands.

Forcible medicalisation - In multiple situations, Jason has reacted to his trauma in reasonable (note I do not say pleasant) terms seeing as he’s in a comic book where aliens, demigods, and supervillains are an everyday thing and people keep coming back from the dead. And in response to his trauma he’s been forcibly medicalised for it. Of course there’s the battle for the cowl thing where he was shoved into Arkham. But the most recent being *DRUMROLL* Bruce injecting him (yes I know it wasn’t Bruce-Bruce, but like, he agreed to killing Jason just a few issues later, so I’m not applauding him as father of the year just yet) with something that literally forcibly changes him back to what Bruce thinks he should be. I’m likening it to like conversion therapy.

So I think Jason being trans would be an amazing metaphor for how he’s not the person he used to be, and also he’s not the person that people say he used to be, and how even now that he’s right there, people keep making up a version of him in their minds and never really engaging with who he is. I mean, clearly some of it is just the medium. Jason gets to be competent (sometimes) but never win, because he wouldn’t fit his ‘role’ in the comic books otherwise. But if we’re taking a Watsonian view then it is impossible that Jason is not winning sometimes, because if he were that useless then the Bats wouldn’t engage with him. They do engage with him because he’s dangerous at least some of the time.

Anyway that’s my essay on how I think Jason deserves to be the cool queer cousin who only comes to family events when he thinks there’s going to be a disaster he can laugh at while sipping his cocktails. He can wear his little outfits and keep people guessing on his pronouns (he hands out knives as gifts to anyone who guesses okay).

Thank you so so much @bestangelofall for letting me talk about my favorite Jay headcanon!!

[mothmanns]

🦇

[simpjaes]

Wrong brother ― P.JS & P.SH

anonymous requested: jayhoon with “fucking the wrong brother” trope 😵‍💫

wc: 1.8k

tags: sunghoon is a fuckboy on campus but you don't know it. you accidentally send your nudes to jay instead of his brother sunghoon and well....WELL, sexting, actual fucking but it's alluded to, second-hand embarrassment. NOT PROOF READ.

"Just friends" only goes so far when you've been pining something fierce for the past three semesters for a very specific kind of dicking down.

By specific, you mean Sunghoon. You want Sunghoon to dick you down so fucking bad by this point that you think you're going crazy.

The thing is, you've been friends with him and his brother, Jay, since you started college. The three of you kind of clinged to each other because you at least recognized one another (from your hometown) on this vast campus that is filled with strangers and people already within respective groups.

The three of you made your own respective friend group.

Over the semesters, you never really thought about either of them in a sexual light until Sunghoon did something one day that ignited a little bit of something in you. Maybe it's the way he looked at you that night, all drunken and woozy with drooping eyes and your image melting you into his surroundings. Or maybe it's the way he didn't seem to mind that you walked in on that, witnessing him literally choke a girl out on his cock mid-party in an unlocked bathroom.

It's the way all three of you were gonna blow off this party and just hang out together again. It's the way all three of you ended up admitting that you low-key wanted to experience a college party every now and then. It's the way he refuses to talk about what you saw, but knows damn well you want to mock him for it.

Mocking him in a way that would make him talk about it. If only so you can ask why he looked at you like that, with his half-smirk and quick raise of the brows as if to fucking invite you to join.

You made a point not to tell Jay about this because you knew he'd never let Sunghoon live it down, and quite frankly, you want him to live it down. With you, specifically.

This leads to today. So long after you witnessed Sunghoon mid-sexual light, it was hard to see him the way you used to. The way he held her head down even when someone walked in...the way you saw a glimpse of him moaning, half-talking to her when you opened the door.

Is it so wrong that you feel Sunghoon, the shy, beloved, and sweet Sunghoon, has a bit of a mean streak if his dick is hard? Is it really, so fucking horrible for you to kinda, be like, you know, turned the fuck on by it?

It's gotten to the point that the few friends you do have outside of your little circle has gotten fucking sick of hearing about him.

"Just fucking send him a nude, god." One of your friends gripes with a roll of her eyes. "We're in college, he's probably down to fuck if you are!"

You roll your eyes right back at her, snarling a bit as you lean in closer, whispering now.

"He's like, my best friend. Don't you think it's weird that I can't stop thinking about the way he like...basically treated some girl's face like a pocket pussy?"

"No. The dude is hot, anyone would wanna partake in-"

"I can't just fucking roll up like 'Hey hoonie, nice cock, i think. I don't know, i couldn't see it because you had it buried into some girl and I really want to see what it looks like and also i really want you to do that to me just to see what it's like maybe hahahahha"

"You can literally do that." You friend says, fed up. "Again, just snap a nude to him and send it. Just immediately apologize and beg him not to look at it. Pretend it's an accident."

You stare at her, feeling your phone burn in your pocket at the idea.

"I'll text you and tell you what happens." You say suddenly, wiping your hands clean from the crumbs of your snack and walking away without another word.

You don't hear her, but your friend cheers you on with another roll of her eyes. She doesn't actually care because, well, it's Sunghoon. She's actually a little bit shocked that word hasn't gotten around to you. The dude is actually very, very well known with the ladies on campus.

Any lady.

All ladies.

Except you, apparently.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Mortified.

You are fucking mortified. Here you were, dressed in your best (absolutely nothing) with your fingers still grazing your clit as you stare in horror at your phone.

You really did that. You sent the fucking newly taken photo and immediately apologized. Hell, you even closed your phone for a minute out of anxiety that approaching Sunghoon this way was a bad idea...

You phone went off just a few seconds after you turned it off. Just a text from Jay, no biggie, probably just wondering what you're up to.

You were literally still playing with your clit when you opened his text without much care. He shouldn't find out you're making a move on Sunghoon anyway, right?

Well, yeah. He'll never find out because that fucking move you made wasn't on Sunghoon at all. The way your stomach flips upon opening his texts only to find that fucking picture of your open, wet, fingered pussy right there above your quick apology... and then right below that is Jay's texts reading:

Jay: was that really an accident?

Jay: figured you'd have called to tell me to not look at it if you actually were sorry

Jay: i'd know if you had someone to send something like that to anyway

Fuckkkkk why'd you have to be so bold to send something so graphic?! It's so out of character for you, even if you did send it to the right person to begin with. You really are going fucking crazy.

You: um...it was an accident, really...

Jay: you don't seem too apologetic for sending it to me

Jay: "sorry, that wasnt for you. pls delete lol"

Jay:....you sure it wasn't for me?

Jay: sounds like you meant to send that...

This is...embarrassing. Jay, fucking Jay of all people is stroking his fucking ego right now. Thinking this is for him, that you want him. Which, i mean, that's surprising because he acts so uninterested in sex when you're around him. Like you've never even seen him stare at a girl for too long or admit to you, or his brother, that he wants to start dating. Yet here he is??? Talking to you like this?

You don't even know how to respond to him when you get another text. A fucking image.

Of his cock.

That's Jay's cock on your phone. Right there. Jesus.

Jay: oops, lol, didn't mean to send that.

You pause, barely able to tear your eyes away from how fat that thing is before you respond in an annoyed, text-tone.

You: are you fucking mocking me?

Jay: depends, are you into that kind of thing?

What the fuck is happening right now? Is this really Jay? Is this how he acts? What is with you and your best friends ending up acting...so interesting when a pussy is around?

You: what's it to you?

Jay: you literally just showed me how deep your fingers can go in your pussy, it's everything to me right now

Why...did you just tingle? Why did your fucking clit throb at that? This is Jay. Then again, you had the same shock when you witnessed Sunghoon that night. Still, should you really play into this? Should you really lead Jay on out of pure arousal and curiosity and forget about your plan with Sunghoon?

You'd look so bad if Jay found out now that you plan to do the same shit to Sunghoon. Ugh, you feel like a total slut.

You: jay, it was an accident.

Jay: fuck off with that, no it wasnt. besides, i liked it. send more

You sigh, slapping yourself on the forehead out of pure embarrassment but god. Are you really about to do this? Are you really snapping more pictures right now?

Yeah. You fucking are. And you send them just as easily as you did the first time, allowing your clit to think for you at this moment rather than worry about the consequences of this.

Jay: fuck, i can't believe you're doing this right now, prettier than i imaged

Jay: jerked off to you so much last semester, was starting to think i need to find someone else to chase

Jay: [image attachment]

The whiplash you're getting right now. Jay...has been into you?! Since fucking when?!?! and, god, fuuuuck, why is he so big? Why is Sunghoon at the back of your mind right now? Why the fuck are you rubbing your clit harder for this?

Jay: well?

You: i feel weird about this

Jay: just give it a few, keep doing that, keep showing me.

And well, you do. Solely out of curiosity. You keep snapping pictures, showing him a personal timeline of how wet you're getting before you get another text from him. Finally, after about ten minutes of silence.

Jay: open your door

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Silence. Utter fucking silence as you lay next to Jay with his heavy limbs thrown over you. Despite the heaviness of your breathing paired with his, your ears are ringing.

How did he do that?!

When did he learn how to fuck like that?

What the actual fuck is happening?!

"Jay..." You half-whisper out to him, breath still struggling to balance out.

"Hm?" He hums back, his arms pulling you in, pressing your back to his chest as he ghosts his lips next to your ear. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just-" You decide not to tell him about how this was accidental. "I'm shocked, that's all."

For some reason, the laugh he lets out fills your heart. It's the same, genuine, laugh he lends to you when you do something clumsy. Never had you realized that it was an endearing laugh, one that pointed to the fact that he likes you.

And it's not that you don't like him. You love Jay so, so much. But this, this is something you don't know if you can come back from. Do you have feelings for him? Not really...you're just horny. Do you have feelings for Sunghoon? You can't say that you do. But this...meant something to Jay.

He can never find out that you'd never spared him a sexual glance or thought before this. You can't bring yourself to lose that laugh in your ear right now.

"So, you liked it?" He asks now, which only makes your heart rattle even more because of course he's seeking reassurance right now.

"Are you kidding?!" You try to play it off like a joke, trying not to attach yourself to the emotions he gives to you. "I came like three times Jay, holy shit."

You feel him shrug behind you, as if he's proud.

"What? You thought I couldn't do it?"

It's not that you never thought he could do it, it's just that...you've never thought about it all.

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

Hard Launching ∘°∘♡∘°∘

Summary: lando and y/n wanted to hard launch their relationship after dating secretly for a while. lando finds the perfect way to do so.

☘ ln x reader ✧˖*°࿐

☘ fluff + humour ✧˖*°࿐

masterlist ☾☼

lando and y/n had been discussing for a while about hard launching their relationship. they had managed to keep it out of the media for an entire season, but the media liked to paint lando as a villain, in more ways than one. not only were they attacking his skills on track, they began collecting pictures of lando with women, no matter how many years ago, and publishing them with articles about him being a womanizer.

the funniest ones were the pictures of lando and her sister out on some bonding time. reading those articles always made y/n laughed, and she would be lying if she said that she didn’t have them bookmarked in her browser for a pick me up when she was having a bad day.

at first, they had thought of doing a simple post with a cheesy caption. enough to let the fans knows that he was off the market again. but, it also felt kind of boring, and that was not lando or y/n’s style.

they discussed it for weeks, looking at different social media websites for inspiration, until it struck lando. scrolling through instagram, he’d found the perfect way to hard launch his relationship with his girlfriend.

when y/n asked him, he said, “you’ll just have to wait like the rest of the world, my love. but, i know you’re going to love it.”

y/n waited, just like he had told her to. she waited for two months, until one day, in the middle of her work, she received the instagram notification of lando posting and tagging her. this was the moment, y/n thought.

opening instagram, she found a reel, instead of a post or a story like she assumed. quickly, wearing her airpods, y/n clicked on the reel, increasing the volume in the background.

the reel opened with someone recording lando as he walked, head down and concentrated. the person recording said, “excuse me, what are you listening to right now?”

lando took out one of his airpods, and said, “my girlfriend yapping,” and then walked away.

the reel immediately cut to different instances of y/n talking and lando patiently listening. they were all sped up videos, and y/n watched her animated hands as she ranted, and lando listening, changing his position every so often. the music in the background was a lively, jaunty sound, and it fit so well with the reel.

there were a series of videos, from their home, from the paddock, from conference rooms where they were waiting for zak, or even from the gym where lando worked out, and y/n basically followed him, still talking his ear off. there were multiple videos of them on facetime as well, or screenshots of their hour - hour and half long conversations.

y/n laughed. it truly was the perfect way for lando to hard launch their relationship. it described them perfectly, if she did say so herself.

scrolling through the comments, she saw a lot of fans crying that he was a taken man now. she saw some saying things like, “this is the realest representation of a relationship.” there were some hate comments too, but they were stupid, so she ignored them.

she commented on the post as well, typing, “wait till i send you a 20 minute voice note on my lunch break” to which lando immediately responded with, “can’t wait, i got my airpods and my phone fully charged”

y/n laughed again, opening her text messaging app, and sending a quick “i love you this was perfect” to her boyfriend.

·̩̩̥͙＊•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚＊·̩̩̥͙

hi! i hope you guys enjoyed this! it came to me while i was driving to college! this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)

taglist: @maketheshadowsfearyou ; @anamiad00msday

[azrielbrainrot]

Baby, You Know That I Miss You

Pairing: Band Member!Azriel x F!Reader

Kinktober 2024: Phone Sex, Guided Masturbation

Description: You miss your boyfriend terribly when you go visit your parents during break. Luckily, he's more than willing to help.

Warnings: Smut, phone sex, guided masturbation, dirty talk

Word Count: ~2k

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Notes: This story is part of my Band AU as well as Kinktober, but you don't have to read their other stories to enjoy this one since it's basically all smut! Also I'm not too sure if this is all that good but we move. Hope you enjoy!

Band AU Masterlist

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

“I didn't know I was going to be so busy all day,” you say with a sigh, happy that you finally get to relax in the comfort of your own bed, “but at least I get to listen to your voice.”

You were a bit sad that you missed a performance, it was the first one you didn't attend since you became official, but because of it your schedules ended up aligning perfectly and you got to talk to him for a while before going to sleep, when you texted him this morning you thought you wouldn't be able to.

Coming home for break, after what happened the last time you were here had been a bit nerve wracking. You didn't know if you would have to run into Eleanor or Parker, and you didn't know how you would react if you did. Luckily, you hadn't seen them, and you found that when your mother mentioned them you didn't really feel anything besides some mild resentment at the way you were treated, all the anger and sadness that just their names evoked a couple months ago had mostly subsided.

If you were being completely honest, forgetting about your childhood best friend had been a lot easier than you thought possible. You were sure the fact that she hurt you so badly that there wouldn't be any possible way to salvage your relationship helped, since it made forgetting her truly the only option, but most of all you had to thank Azriel and your friends, old and new, for it.

The hardest part of being home for these last two weeks ended up being away from Azriel. Yours is still a relatively new relationship, although sometimes it felt like you had known him your entire life, and so it was hard to not be able to see him for so long when you were spending almost all of your free time together. You missed sleeping in his arms, missed watching him and the boys practice, missed the dates at the small café by his apartment you'd found together, the way he held your hand when you went on walks and, Gods, you missed his touch.

“Want me to tell you a story?”

“Anything is fine as long as it's coming from you,” you admit, his deep whispered voice enough to send a gentle warmth traveling through your veins. Azriel hums, something obviously on his mind. “What?”

“You always liked the sound of my voice,” he muses, letting the words flow from his lips slowly but confidently, knowing it would get a reaction out of you and prove his point.

“Well, yes but that's normal.” You try to keep an indifferent tone, but you know he can easily hear through it. “You're a singer for a reason.”

“We both know it's not just that,” he murmurs, and you can almost hear the smirk growing on his lips, can picture the confident yet alluringly attractive look that always falls over his face when he knows he's affecting you, one that unfortunately only makes it worse. You find yourself squeezing your thighs together, wishing he was right next to you instead of in a different city, so you could kiss that smirk off his lips and let him show you all the different ways he can affect you.

“Don't do that,” you breathe out, almost pleadingly, every hint of sleepiness escaping your body.

“Do what, princess?”

“That,” you say a bit too loudly, calming down and lowering your voice when you add, “not when I'm three hours away.”

Azriel sighs, a heavy sound coming from deep in his chest, needing to feel your hands on him as much as you do. If you were in your apartment instead of at your parent's house, you might have gotten out of bed and made your way to his house with how needy you were starting to feel.

“It's a shame that I can't sit you on my lap right now and whisper every dirty little thing I want to do in your ear.” Truly a shame, you think as you press your legs together. “But we can try something else.”

“Try what?”

“Just want you to do as I say,” he explains, desire dripping on every word. You bite your lip, his intentions now crystal clear in your mind. This wasn't something you had ever done or even considered, but you feel a shiver of excitement run down your spine at just the thought. “Can you do that for me?”

“Yes,” you breathe out, heart beating wildly behind your ribcage as you hear the rustle of sheets through the speaker.

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

You let out a soft chuckle before answering unashamedly, “Yes.” You had taken to stealing some of his shirts to sleep or wear around your house before you even started dating, though stealing was probably the wrong choice of words seeing as he either let you or even gave you some of them himself. His shirts were not only comfortable but they also smelled like him so they quickly replaced your own old shirts you used to wear to sleep before.

Azriel lets out a hum, one that sounds more like a moan, probably lost in the thought of you touching yourself while wearing his shirt before he gathers himself and starts, “Want you to run your hand over your stomach, feel how warm and soft your skin is.” Your hands follow his commands easily, mimicking the way he caresses your skin instinctively, desire growing within you with every brush of your fingers.

“Now push your panties to the side,” he continued, voice getting deeper as he spoke through a clenched jaw, his own hand likely occupied as well, “tell me what you find.”

You knew what you'd find even before your hand traveled down to do as he said, a sigh escaping you all the same when your fingers dive between your folds, feeling just how soaked you were, a string connecting them to your cunt when you pull away.

“Are you wet for me?” The pleasure was obvious in his voice, and you had no doubt in your mind that he was stroking his cock as he spoke, the thought making your cunt clench around nothing.

“Yes,” you breathe out, nodding along even though he can't see you, swirling your fingers around and making a mess of yourself, careful to avoid your clit and entrance no matter how bad you need to take some of the edge off, waiting for him.

“Good,” he moans out, “Fuck, you're so good to me.”

If you closed your eyes, you could picture him laying on his bed, sheets thrown off his body and underwear long since discarded to the side, hand stroking his thick cock slowly, moving up and down as he also imagined what you looked like as you followed his orders, and wished it was your hand instead of his own.

“Now take your panties off,” he says after a moment, waiting patiently as he hears you shimmy them off your legs, sighing as you spread your thighs and bend your knee before letting him know he could continue. “Take two of your fingers into your mouth.”

“Azriel-”

“Need you to get them nice and wet for me.”

A whimper escapes you as memories of him saying these exact words rush into your mind. He loved seeing your mouth stuffed with his fingers, your tongue swirling around them as you looked up at him through your eyelashes. You almost tell him you didn't need to get them any wetter, your cunt was quite literally dripping, but you do as he says anyway, tasting yourself on your own fingers, pretending they were his instead, making a show of sucking on them and pulling them out with a pop just so you could hear the groan he lets out, a tremble running through your body at the delicious sound.

“Done?”

“Yeah,” you muse, entirely too proud of yourself for managing to get under his skin so easily.

“Alright,” he rasps, “Now roll them around your clit slowly, pretend they're mine.” You can't help the whimper of his name, your fingers circling your clit just like he said, closing your eyes and pretending it was his rough fingers instead of yours.

“Good girl,” he chuckles, “don't even gotta tell you to moan my name.”

“I need to be quiet though,” you remind him, remind yourself. If it was simply your roommate in the room down the hall it would only be a bit embarrassing, but it's your parents instead and them hearing you would be nothing short of mortifying.

“Such a shame,” he muses, the smirk almost audible on his voice. “You always sound so pretty for me, saying my name in that sweet breathy, fucked out voice of yours.”

“Azriel,” you whine, putting more pressure behind your fingers, - you really didn't think you needed much more to cum, especially if he kept whispering in your ear like that, - breathy, quiet moans pushing past your lips despite your warning.

“Like that,” he lets out between pants, fist tightening around his cock as well, “Just like that.”

“Keep talking, Az,” you murmur, your heart stuttering in your chest with every harsh breath you hear through the speaker, wanting to hear it in his voice. “You sound pretty too.”

Azriel only hums, staying quiet for a moment longer before letting out a groan. You hear his head knock softly against his headboard as he leans back, and briefly wonder if he could hear the sinful noises your cunt was making every time your fingers moved.

“Fuck, princess. You have no idea how much I wish I could taste you right now.” You did actually, you were burning with the same need. “Wanna bury my face in that sweet pussy of yours, make you cum on my tongue over and over again until you're all I can taste.”

The moan that pushes past your lips is entirely too loud for the quietness in your house, but you can't help it as the picture he paints assaults your mind. You're reminded of the feeling of his tongue against you, lapping up at your cunt until you're shaking with pleasure under him. Gods, you couldn't wait until you saw him again next weekend.

“Wanna taste you too,” you confess, speeding up your movements, mouth watering at the thought.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Think I could cum just thinking about you choking on my cock, trying to take all of me down that tight throat of yours.” Closing your eyes and biting your lip, you do your best to keep as quiet as you can, his filthy words sinking into your bloodstream. It felt like you were on fire even though you had long since kicked your sheets off your body, - you didn't think it was possible to be this turned on alone in your room.

“Fuck,” he chuckles, a ridiculously attractive sound, “I think I might.”

“Azriel, I'm-”

“Close?”

“So close,” you pant, right on the edge, your hand moving incessantly, goosebumps running through your skin.

“I'm right there with you,” he murmurs, “Cum for me, princess. Let me hear you.”

You let yourself fall as soon as he finishes speaking, mouth falling open in a silent scream as you're hit with wave after wave of pleasure, a few whines of his name pushing past your lips despite your efforts to keep quiet, the praises he lets out going straight to your head.

Azriel cums not soon after, his own pants and muffled moans of your name echoing through the speaker as you're coming down, making you feel all tingly knowing he just came as hard as you did without you ever touching him, and still your name was on his lips. It's unfair the way this man makes you feel, even when he's so far away from you.

“I decided I'm going to lock us in your room when I get back,” you speak up after you take a deep breath, only half joking.

“Is that so?”

“Mhm,” you continue, wiping your hand on your discarded panties, cringing softly at the feeling, knowing you have to get up and clean yourself up properly. “You're mine for the entire weekend.”

“You can lock us in for as long as you like,” he murmurs, “I'm all yours.”

[sxorpiomooon]

YOUR FS FEELINGS AFTER YOUR FIRST DATE - A PAC READING

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Pile 1-

I think pile 1's fs will meet them right after their breakup with someone or right after they had let go of something very big, something that no longer served them. Also the first thing I got was shutting down so they might be really tired when they first see or meet you and I also think it'll be late at night. I also think this late was very much delayed for some reason? It's almost as if accepting your fate like you try to avoid something so hard but can't stop it from happening so you just give in by the end. That's sort of the vibe for some reason? Lmaaao this is so funny bc right after the date they will immediately feel the need to rush things and they will be scared of rushing things too. This sort of reminds me of how people always say that the moment they met their fs they immediately knew and wanted to marry them that's the vibe. I see things going quickly too right after the first date, i see you guys going on alot of dates together I'm getting a vision of like a roller coaster date? Also you girlies are PRETTY PRETTY I had a vision of those trendy skirts and softy haha. This pile might have girlies with Libra placements I heard venus as well ANYWAYS I think your fs will immediately know it's like they will forget everything and now they are so hyped up to sum up the entire thing I heard "i belong"

Pile 2-

Hmmm I see a conflict here or two people meeting together after years? This kinda second chance romance type shit imma NGL. I also think that there is some history there as I said it might be you guys starting as enemies or simply second chance romance. Right after I wrote this my father started singing a song which basically translates to "don't leave me now" or abhi na jaao chord ke for those who want to give it a listen. Whatever it is oh y'all gonna have your LORES. Anyways I see two people legit being so grumpy on a date 😭😭 sipping their drinks this might be near water or a really pretty scenary I also hear beautiful instruments playing. Anyways all this won't last long bc I see and hear very warm laughter of both of you it's like you know in movies two people fighting something happens and they crack a laugh there's this eye contact and then one of them says or admits that "I missed you" THATS THHE VIBE OML. I see a familiar feeling that you have with an old friend. I heard "old habits die hard" out of nowhere. I also see you guys sort of making a note of learning from your past experiences to build a good solid future. This connection will be tested alot but I do see you guys being resilient. Honestly very beautiful vibe.

Pile 3-

HELL NAWWW LMAAAAAAAAAAAAO THID MAN WILL THINK THAT HE HAS TANKED THE DATE COMPLETELY DESTROYED OVER THIS HE WILL THINK THAT HE IS ABSOLUTELY DONE AND FINISHED AND THAT JE WILL NEVER GET THIS CHANCE AGAIN AND THAY JE IS A LOSER WHO FUCKED THIS CHANCE UP AND FUMBLED A BADDIE LMAAAAAAO. I see this man losing his shit legit whining wailing crying that he fucked up😭😭 I think he sort of a loser when it comes to communication. I jus see him shuttering n shit for those who are watching serendipity embrace(kdrama) the vibe is exactly like that second lead pt teacher lmao. I see him being so anxious after the first date bc he will think that he has tanked it. I think he might come across as someone who's very formal and has alot of attitude but in reality he will just not know how to talk😭 I don't even see him being able to gather the courage to hold eye contact with you. However, I do see something out of nowhere happening whether it will be him being able to meet you again or you texting him something good with happen and he will be very surprised to receive this chance or opportunity

Pile 4-

I don't see a very good vibe overall I won't lie. I see your fs being very confused with the entire date. I just think that things will perhaps not go well for this pile and I know exactly why it'll happen. One person will try to speed things up too much and it will scare the other person off. I just see one person trying to hurry everything up and it just being a big turn off for the other person. I think what this pile can try to do is perhaps not take things too fast and let the other person take their time as well. The more you try to speed things up the more it'll scare the other person off and it will end up in a disappointment. I'm sorry I couldn't give you much positive my pile 4<3

[loulovingho]

Prompt: I've been thinking about a mixture of posts on here and I'd really love Tommy going to talk to Eddie because, maybe Eddie isn't being a great friend? I've read some people think Eddie would fall in line with Gerrard (due to being in the army etc.) and I'd love to see a Tommy/Eddie argument!

When Eddie got a knock on his door at 9pm on a Tuesday, he wasn't sure who to expect. He hadn't gotten a call or text from anyone, and he hadn't ordered any food. He figured he'd be arguing with Jehovah's Witnesses, asking them why the hell they were knocking on his door so late? Usually he'd avoid them altogether, but a little piece of him felt like arguing, so he swung the door open with a dramatic sigh.

He was surprised to see Tommy on the other side of the door, hand raised in a fist, ready to knock again.

“Oh. Hey, Tommy. I wasn't expecting you, was I?”

“Um, no. Can I come in for a sec?”

“Sure.” Eddie moved out of the way so Tommy could come inside, closing the door behind him. “Want a beer or something?”

“No, I really can't stay long. I'm heading to Evan's after this.”

Right. Buck. He should've known he'd be getting a visit from Tommy. Buck hadn't exactly left work, or Eddie, on good terms two days ago. Things had been tense for a few weeks now, actually. Everything had slowly been bubbling up until Buck finally burst under the pressure and was sent home early for insubordination. He'd actually been told not to return until he could learn proper chain of command, and if he couldn't learn within a week, he should start searching for a new career path.

“Is Buck the one who sent you?” Eddie asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Tommy shook his head. “No. No one sent me.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “So you're not here to kick my ass?”

“Should I be?”

“I don't know,” Eddie answered honestly. “I don't know what you've been told.”

It was kind of a ridiculous sight right now, if you asked Eddie. Two grown men, friends for months now, standing awkwardly in his living room. Neither making any effort to sit or get more comfortable.

“Evan's been having a rough time with Gerrard,” Tommy started. “Sounds like he's Gerrard's main target.”

Eddie shrugged. “Gerrard likes to push buttons. Buck's buttons are easy to push.”

“Last week he asked Evan if he'd like a bra to go with the apron he wore while cooking.” Tommy tensed even as he spoke the words. “That doesn't just sound like pressing buttons to me.”

“He's a wannabe drill sergeant pissed about the fact he never made it through basic training. You do what he says, keep quiet, use your manners, and make him feel like he's the most important person in the room. That's how you get through a shift.” Eddie moved to sit on the couch, but Tommy remained standing. “You know how this works the same as I do,” he added.

“Yeah, I do,” Tommy agreed, although his voice was a bit more commanding now. “Probably better than you do, actually. Doesn't make it okay.”

Eddie sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Why are you here, Tommy? I'm tired.”

“To try and stop you from becoming me, you idiot. I've been where you are. I've sat beside Gerrard and watched him treat person after person like nothing but garbage. I kept quiet, I made him feel important, I followed behind him like I was his damn puppy dog. I called him sir, I did whatever he asked, I laughed along with his jokes. You know what that made me?”

Eddie was starting to get annoyed. “What?”

“Him. I was no better than him.”

Eddie's eyes darkened. He stood back up, taking a step toward Tommy. “Are you seriously comparing me to that piece of crap?”

“If the mustache fits.”

“You need to get out of my house now,” Eddie warned. He could feel his body filling with the same boiling rage that got him thrown in jail a few years ago. He didn't need that to happen again.

“You repeat to me what Gerrard told Evan two days ago and I'll go,” Tommy offered. “Tell me what Gerrard said that finally made him explode and I'll leave.”

“Or I can call the cops on you for trespassing,” Eddie replied, moving to the door and opening it.

Tommy made no effort to leave. “Go for it.”

They stared at each other for a moment, Eddie's chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. When Eddie realized Tommy was never going to back down, his shoulders slumped. “Come on, Man, just leave.”

Tommy doubled down. “Tell me what he said,” he demanded, speaking each work slowly and carefully.

“H- He... God, Tommy.” He looked away from him, unable to maintain eye contact as he recalled the event. “Buck fell while we were at a scene, bruised his tailbone. When we were sitting down to eat, Buck moved slow. He winced when he finally got seated... Gerrard saw and said th- that maybe if he... if he spent less time taking and more time giving he wouldn't have so much trouble.”

“But,” Tommy beckoned for him to continue.

Eddie took a deep breath. “But he should have expected Buck to be the woman.”

Tommy nodded. “There it is.”

“Listen, Tommy, I-”

“He could've really used someone sticking up for him. One person to step in and tell Gerrard he'd crossed a line. I get that Hen can't do anything right now. She can't risk not getting Mara back. And I know Howie can't do anything to lose Mara. But you could have said something, Eddie. You could have been there for him, but you weren't.”

And there was the anger again. “Why the hell is it on me?!” he exclaimed. “I've been going through my own crap, and it's not like you or Buck have really been around to help me out.”

“Oh, you cannot be serious right now.” Tommy's posture straightened, his body somehow becoming even wider and taller. It would have caused Eddie to pause and think about what was about to come out of his mouth if he wasn't so mad.

“Yeah, I am serious. I've needed people too, Tommy, but you guys have been too busy with each other to even notice.”

“You made the mess you're in right now, Eddie!” Tommy yelled. “You did that! You screwed up and it's on you to fix it! But Evan didn't do anything wrong. He sure as hell didn't deserve to be talked to like that, and now his job is on the line because you decided keeping the peace with a piece of scum like Gerrard was more important than speaking up for your supposed best friend. So, yeah, that's on you!” Tommy began to make his way to the door, ready to push past Eddie on his way, but Eddie wasn't finished.

“Hey!” He yelled, shoving Tommy back so he couldn't leave. “I've been trying to fix everything on my own! Trying to get my own life back! Hell, I just got to talk to my kid for the first time in over a month!”

“And who you think got Christopher to answer the damn phone?!”

It felt like all the air had suddenly been sucked out of Eddie's lungs. He stood there, his mouth hanging open as he tried to find the right words to speak. “I... Buck's been talking to Christopher?”

“Every day,” Tommy confirmed. “He calls or texts. Facetime's him every once in a while too. He's been telling Chris how you're doing, trying to get him to call you or text you. He even suggested writing you a letter.”

“I didn't know that.”

“He didn't really want you to. Christopher had promised him the next time you tried to call, he'd answer. Evan's been like a kid on Christmas Eve, excited for you to tell him how it went after you two talked.”

Eddie didn't know what to say. He wasn't angry anymore, just incredibly disappointed with himself.

“He's always had your back, Eddie,” Tommy said, making his way out the door. Eddie didn't stop him this time. “It'd be really nice if you had his.”

[iconchae]

꒰ ENHYPEN IN A SECRET RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR IDOL GIRLFRIEND >

pairing. bf ! enhypen × gf ! afab reader , genre. fluff , (chaez note. my first work and this possibly won't be really well written but I wanted to try.)

001. LEE HEESEUNG

Heeseung held back his breath as he knocked on your dorm door. It had been a hectic week for the boy, especially when every time he tried to see you he'd end up hiding from fans who recognised him even with a mask. When the door finally opened he basically threw his arms around you “i missed you so much!” he barely spoke the words before planting kisses all over your face. “i-i get it, you should get in before someone sees us together.” you suggested, a smile escaping you as you stared at the flower bouquet resting on the ground forgotten as your lover embraced you like he won't be letting go any sooner.

read the rest of the members below !

002. PARK JAY

Jay and you stood in the studio after everyone else left. Hell, everyone titled you as the “best friends” the fans, his members, the staff, manager, but the truth? You two were cuddled up in his room, pretending to be working on a song you two were supposed to finish by the end of this month. “what would you do if it got out?” you asked out of the blue, words laced with concern and fear. “you mean the relationship?” his hands tightened around you in a hug, your head resting on his chest as you looked up at him and nodded. “well, then... we’ll just deal with it together.” his words sounded so sure, like he meant it. “you promise?” you stared up at him and he placed a kiss to your forehead before answering with words of his own “promise.”

003. SIM JAKE

“Jake Jake Jake!!!” you basically jumped into his arms after seeing him in the building after a whole damn month. sure, you two maintained long distance during your tight schedules but there was something else about seeing his handsome face in person. “someone missed me too much.” he teased, before letting you go as he saw his members giving him looks. “should I apologise?” you looked over at his friends who were signalling Jake about something. “i don't think so.” he reassured as he saw the way his manager face palmed upon seeing you two. It was obvious Jake was going to get a scolding about the pda you two kept showing even in the company building.

004. PARK SUNGHOON

“what’s with the mood today?” Sunghoon was good at guessing the charts of your emotions as he pulled you onto his lap, trying to understand what had upset you. “this.” you glanced at him with a frown as you extended your phone for him to see the already open article that showed ‘fans speculate Sunghoon is dating this actress...’ some attached pictures and proof. “you don't really believe this stupid source, right?” his hand was at the back of your head as you buried your face in his chest, wanting to be close at times like this. “I know you won't betray me.” “thought so.” he rested his chin on top of your head, just wishing life could be easier for both of you.

005. KIM SUNOO

“god, you're such a life saver!” you let out, it was almost three am and your boyfriend basically sneaked in your dorm to bring you some spicy buldak ramen. You were on a strict diet and your manager would quite literally kill you if he found out that you are not only bringing your boyfriend in your dorm but also eating such unhealthy food. “well, I would've done this even if you didn't ask.” he added, watching you eat like you've never seen food since a month. “how cruel of them for starving my pretty girl.” he was staring at you eating from so long that you felt the need to offer him some of it, but he dismissed it by saying he wasn't hungry.

006. YANG JUNGWON

“geez, did you hear about y/n slipping off the stage?” as soon as he heard the news from the youngest in the team, he was pacing around the room waiting for your text or call or anything that could tell him you were safe and fine. “how did it happen? are you okay? any serious injuries?” he bombarded you with questions nonstop, head burning with worries and the need to see you as soon as possible... to tend your wounds but he also knew it wasn't possible because of the profession you two had. “yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't that serious.” you had said only to receive a “are you freaking serious? you got a fractured leg because of the fall.” and before you knew it, you had your boyfriend sending texts to your management team. All of them were about asking not to overwork you.

007. NISHIMURA RIKI

The boy was so excited when he finally made a girlfriend. He was practically jumping up and down as he told his hyungs about you. That excitement was kinda understandable since you were his first girlfriend but the responses he got back had him frowning and sulking in your arms. “they told me it's risky.” “that’s because it is.” you reasoned. “well but we're always careful.” his arm slowly making it's way to your waist. “yeah. very careful. nobody would ever know.” you broke into a giggle, you two weren't even at his dorm or your dorm but rather at night on a park bench. This was very careful... for sure...

© 2024 , all rights reserved to iconchae >

[dootznbootz]

Odysseus always trusted Penelope. He was ordered to lie to her and it hurt him to do so. Penelope was distrustful of this stranger until she had absolute solid proof.

There are way too many people talking about how "Odysseus lies to Penelope. What a prick!" and it makes me sad/mad as that's not the case at all

The whole "Odysseus usually always has a reason to lie" maybe upcoming essay aside, He was literally commanded by Athena to not tell anyone. And it was with Penelope that he had the hardest time keeping up the act with. Not only because she's smart af and figured him out almost immediately (that essay coming soon too) but because he was trying to keep himself from crying with her.

I think people forget that he is disguised to look like someone else completely. If a random man claimed to be your missing husband, wouldn't you be scared/freaked out?

Anyways, the 3 most important people in his life are Penelope, Telemachus, and Laertes. He lies to all three.

Telemachus: Lied by letting Eumaeus answer him and still under the orders from Athena, did not cry or reveal himself until Athena allowed him to. (I read it as him being in shock. Last time he saw him, Telemachus' hand could only wrap around one finger and now he's as big as him. a bit shocking to say the least)

Laertes: He teared up seeing him but still decided to question and test his father, not by the order from Athena.

Penelope: He was trying so hard to keep from crying, tried to noodle his way out of lying to her, Under Athena's orders. still couldn't help but basically flirt with her.

Also to get this outta the way: No, it wasn't a matter of trust. He is shown to trust her right away. As this happens even before he gets the chance to speak with Penelope.

Staunch Odysseus glowed with joy to hear all this— his wife's trickery luring gifts from her suitors now, enchanting their hearts with suave seductive words but all the while with something else in mind.

(Book 18, Fagles)

If Odysseus does not trust her, why is he so happy to see her "flirt" with the suitors? It's because he KNOWS what she's doing and knows she doesn't actually want them. If he didn't trust her, he would be upset by this.

Now for the "it hurt to lie to her" bit.

Athena's command:

"Tell not a single person in the palace, man or woman, that you are back from your wanderings; but endure all vexations in silence and submit yourself to the indignities that will be put upon you.'

(Book 13, Rieu)

If you are my son—truly of our blood—                                            let no one hear Odysseus is back home. Don’t let Laertes know or the swineherd, or the slaves, or Penelope herself.

(Book 16, Johnston)

And the people he did reveal himself to, he only did so after being given permission by Athena.

Athene spoke to him. 'The time has come,' she said, 'royal son of Laertes, Odysseus of the nimble wits, to let Telemachus into your secret, so that the pair of you may plot the downfall and death of the Suitors and then make your way to the famous city. [...]

(Book 15, Rieu)

He talks to Telemachus before talking to Penelope.

I’ll stay here, so I can stir the servants even more— and your mother. As she laments, she’ll ask for each and every detail.”

(Book 19, Johnston)

Odysseus is already sweating about having to lie to her

The next part would honestly be me just inserting almost ALL the text for this so I'll go into a summary. It's all in Book 19.

Penelope asks him where he's from. And instead of answering, it's a tsunami of compliments. Calling her flawless. Comparing her to a king. etc, etc,

Probably because he couldn't help himself and had to babble about how wonderful she is Who wouldn't? before finally ending with "Please don't ask me where I'm from. It makes me sad."

Penelope, probably overwhelmed by his praise, immediately goes into how "her beauty left with her husband. It did not. And where did you say you were from again?"

"Fine! I'm from Crete..."

And we all know that as soon as she starts crying, after a lovely description of how her tears "melted", he talks about how hard it was for Odysseus to hold in his OWN tears. Lying to her and being unable to comfort her was painful for him!!!

But though Odysseus' heart was wrung by his wife's distress, his eyes, hard as horn or iron, never wavered between their lids, so craftily did he repress his tears.

(Book 19, Rieu)

I love Robert Fitzgerald's translation so as a treat:

[...] so her white cheeks were wetted by these tears shed for her lord--and he close by her side. Imagine how his heart ached for his lady, his wife in tears; and yet he never blinked; his eyes might have been made of horn or iron for all that she could see. He had this trick-- wept, if he willed to, inwardly.

(Book 19, Fitzgerald)

Even with him revealing himself to Euryclea, when she cried out to Penelope, Athena made sure she didn't hear! It's most likely that he wouldn't be able to tell her even if he wanted. Athena was planning something, just as Penelope was.

She spoke, and her eyes glanced over at Penelope, anxious to tell her that her husband had come home. But Penelope could not see her face or notice, for Athena had diverted her attention.

(Book 19, Johnston)

He desperately wanted to be with her again. Literally daydreaming about it!

At those words Dawn rose on her golden throne in a sudden gleam of light. And great Odysseus caught the sound of his wife’s cry and began to daydream—deep in his heart it seemed she stood beside him, knew him, now, at last …

(book 20, Fagles)

Clearly doesn't trust her. /sarcasm

It's PENELOPE that has trouble trusting him. And rightfully so! While she was very certain that was her husband, there was so much going on and of course, she's cautious! He looked like an elderly stranger at first, why is he hiding from her? He somehow took out all those men with only a little help, Athena isn't telling her anything, Helen was kidnapped and she did not want that to possibly happen to her too, etc.

He even understands her cautiousness to be reasonable.

As she spoke, lord Odysseus, who had borne so much, smiled and immediately spoke to Telemachus— his words had wings:   “Telemachus, let your mother test me in these halls. She will soon possess more certain knowledge. Right now I’m filthy, with disgusting clothing on my body. That’s why she rejects me and will not say I am Odysseus. [...]

(Book 23, Johnston)

He even trusted her completely to take care of everything while he was gone before. And he does again when he wakes up and goes to see his father. Telling her about how she too wise to need instruction

Odysseus (and Penelope as well) is well-known for his cunning tricks and how his loyalties are often blurred but one thing that is for sure about him is that he trusts and is loyal to Penelope full-heartedly. He spent every day missing her and their son and wanting to go home to her. The only moment we see his trust in her waver is during the Treebed scene, (which is what she wanted to test).

They are "like-minded". 😭

[dalliancekay]

Aziraphale does NOT need to suffer MORE

Can't believe I have to say this. TW: grief, mourning, death (sorry) I have, since falling into the fandom 6 months ago to escape real life, seen many takes on how Aziraphale needs to (or at least should) suffer in S3 to match Crowley's suffering. As the counterpart to the moment Crowley thinks he lost Aziraphale as he's looking for him desperately in the burning bookshop....

...after this he drinks, we suppose, to dull his pain, waiting for the Armageddon. Or, for the way Crowley suffers at the bandstand argument, the 'I Forgive You' moments, which many people find utterly devastating and incredibly heartless from Aziraphale. Not to mention when he doesn't react in the 'right way' to Crowley's confession in the Final 15. And then on top of that, 'abandons' Crowley. For Heaven. Oh and also for, and I quote: "The smug and entitled way Aziraphale went around in S2 assuming Crowley would love and follow him everywhere." And so for all this pain that Crowley endured for him, Aziraphale should suffer in S3 (to I assume) even out the scores. Or... to deserve Crowley. Some people also want to see him lose it, show his emotions, to cry or beg or otherwise show how much he misses Crowley and how very sorry he is for what he has (so thoughtlessly) done.

Now for the TW grief content I motioned above. You can skip to the next sentence in bold.

I was on holiday late September last year, visiting my mum, stepfather and my two younger brothers. We went to a cousin's wedding. It was great. The day after, as I was hanging out reading a book, my mum got a call. The kind of call every mother fears. My youngest brother (he was 27) died in an accident. We needed to speak to police and the coroner. She cried and cried. She's still crying. She asks questions. She gets no answers. I...did not cry. I talked to the police. I googled a funeral home. I bought my brother his last set of clothes. He lived in a hoodie and torn black jeans. Mum wanted a suit. I texted a lot of people. I bought snacks for the many friends who came to the funeral and wanted to speak to us after. My grief feels like a vice. I am not sad. I do not appear sad. Contrary to what people expect. But I am ANGRY. I am furious. But nobody can see this. I am not fine and I wish no one would ever* ask how I was again. TW/Personal content over. WE ALL SUFFER DIFFERENTLY Since I was small (because I am weird like that) I genuinely wondered if, finding myself in danger, I could scream like people in films do. I don't think I could. I cope with hard situations, fear and stress and anxiety by shutting down, sometimes by retreating as well, and by furiously (but quietly) trying to find a way out. And I think Aziraphale does the same. And that's why I love him so much. And why I feel I get him and understand that people sometimes can't tell how much he's actually feeling. I also express love the way Aziraphale does - by organising things for people, inviting them places, making plans. When Crowley said you call me for three things (and it's basically any old reason) I felt SO SEEN. This is what I would do with a friend who I know is feeling unmoored, sad, stuck (Crowley's 'What's the point of it all' at the beginning of S2). I'd text them with any old thing. I'd never actually say I love you, but I would try to get them to talk, meet me, go somewhere. Aziraphale does not express emotions the same way as Crowley.

But his emotions are valid nonetheless. He is worried for Crowley from around 3 minutes into their acquaintanceship. And he NEVER stops worrying from then on.

And are we quite sure he has never lost Crowley?

How many times did Aziraphale's heart freeze in horror when he realised Hell has taken Crowley and he had no idea if he'll ever come back and what is happening to him?

How did Aziraphale spend the night after vanquishing the demons and starting a war? He had no idea where Crowley was. What happened to him. He was probably sick with worry that Hell just took him away. We didn't see him drink and cry, but surely, the worry must have been overwhelming. The wait for what will happen now.

ALL his worries over the Arrangement. Was he worried for himself? Do we really think that?

Crowley thought he lost Aziraphale in S1, yes, we saw that. And what happened to the angel then?

He got blown into atoms which I bet wasn't pleasant and when he arrives in Heaven he limps. Why is he hurt? And why is he quickly pretending he isn't? Why is he always hiding how he feels? Also, he immediately deserts, wants no part in the Holy War and quickly finds an extremely unconventional way to get back. It's not a grand gesture, he doesn't deliberate, doesn't worry that he will Fall (although surely that must have been what he thought will happen if he survives this), there's no pomp around it, he thinks it and then does it. No hesitation.

Is this coming from an angel who just can't leave Heaven behind and longs to be a part of it? Who loves to follow rules? And let's not forget in those moments Aziraphale thought Crowley was most likely gone. That he probably left for Alpha Centauri. Last he heard from him he was told he was talking to an old friend and had no time for him. Why we NEVER talk about how that might have felt for Aziraphale? About his sadness?

Things are not as simple as Aziraphale has been supressing his emotions and lying to himself about how he feels and he should get over it and become free. That's not how this works. First of all, he was suppressing his emotions OUT OF LOVE. His main goal was always to keep Crowley safe. They simply couldn't run away or hoodwink Heaven and Hell. They had nowhere to go. They had no hope and yet they kept loving each other. That's courage. I know we all grew up with Romeo and Juliet and Heathcliff and Cathy and we FORGOT that those were CAUTIONARY tales. And this is not what Aziraphale wants for them. He would never allow himself to go so fast he would hurt Crowley. He feels guilty enough for agreeing to the Arrangement and for meeting Crowley at all when he knows they can be discovered and punished at any point. And Crowley knows it and RESPECTS it. He does not tolerate Aziraphale's decision to not go on a date and to hell with circumstances. He understands Aziraphale's reasoning and he respects Aziraphale's decision. Don't forget, they have NO POWER. They can't change Heaven and Hell. They can't stop believing in God and work on their religious trauma. Their Heaven and Hell are real places with real power and they both BELONG to them. Aziraphale's trauma and his personality are deeply intertwined and he'd probably never be the kind of person who is open in showing their grief or stress like Crowley does. He will learn to be more open, I'm sure. With his love especially, we see him reaching for and touching his demon in S2. Openly being with him, looking at him without guarding himself. They got a little bit of freedom for themselves despite ALL odds. So. Just because Aziraphale is not crying and screaming and I dunno, tearing his hair out or whatever some people would have him do, does not mean he isn't overflowing with pain, fear, uncertainty, doubts, worries, and so much anxiety that if he let it all out, half of the solar system would turn to ashes.

Aziraphale does not need to suffer in S3 to level out Crowley's suffering. They are, unfortunately, equal in their pain as they are in love. If there is one thing Crowley would never abide, it'd be this take from the fandom. * One more note on grief: (obviously from my personal experience) As initiated by @anthony-crowleys-left-nut in a comment

It's not that I mind to know people care and worry etc, not at all. But asking how I am can only end up in me lying (fine, thank you) and both of us knowing it's not really true and feeling awkward or not lying (I feel like shit, mostly cos I can't sleep and think the world is a stupid, unfair place) and both of us feeling awkward anyway. Does that make sense? I wish I could tell friends/colleagues to ask what I've been up to or something similar instead. What I've been reading (um, AO3, but I'll make something up), watching, do I want to go see some spring flowers bloom (I do). I think...this would probably work not just for someone who is grieving but also for someone who you know is dealing with depression for example or a serious illness etc. Edit 2. It's now almost (in 15 days) a year since my brother died. The random attacks of pain and grief have lessened and I have started to do more of the things I enjoyed before... and I am able to answer how are you questions without feeling like they are trying to mock me (the questions, not the people). So I suppose things do get ... lighter? More diffused? I'm not sure. Because it's still exactly as unfair that my brother has not lived this past year as it will be however many years I will be here without him I expect.

[whimsiwitchy]

Controversially Young Girlfriend (part seven)

Hugh Jackman x popstar!reader 

series masterlist & main masterlist

summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men. 

warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns, sexual themes, pedro (srry he's a big part of this chapter)

warnings will change as the story progresses! all descriptions of real people in this story are FAKE. I do not know these people and this is purely fiction. Please let me know if I missed anything!! <3

authors note: hi everyone! I literally just posted saying idk when I would update again but I decided to look through what I had written for this part and give it to y'all. she's a short one but it's cute. somewhat proof read lol. enjoy <3

part seven: closing chapters

You’ve been back in Los Angeles for less than a day and you already missed the simplicity of being with Hugh. Los Angeles was reality and it was an ugly one. All of the responsibilities came tumbling down on you and you felt like you were stuck in an inescapable maze. As much as you wanted to stay hidden, tucked under Hugh’s protective arm forever, you had to be an adult about this. You needed to stop ignoring Ashley and talk things out with her. You also needed to talk to Pedro and close that chapter that had been left wide open. Your personal life couldn’t have picked a worse time to get interesting. Tour started in two weeks, leaving very little time to tie all loose ends before traveling the world.

When you landed this morning, you ate a quick breakfast from a small cafe and went straight to rehearsals. They ran longer today to make up for the few days you were gone but you didn’t mind. Being on stage and performing the music you worked so hard on always upped your mood, even if you were unbelievably tired at the end of the day. At the moment, you were laying in bed, trying your best to stay awake while you waited for Hugh to call. He texted you a few hours earlier saying he spent the day with his kids and talked to them about the relationship you two had built over the questionable short period of time. He didn’t go into any further detail but promised to call as soon as he got home and settled. It was a little past 10pm, making it 1am in New York. Just as you were beginning to lose hope in Hugh’s late night call, your phone lit up with Hugh’s contact. 

“Hi Hugh.” You say sweetly into the speaker, sleepiness evident in your voice. “Hi, baby. Were you sleeping?” The deep accent you adored so much rumbled through the phone. “No, I was just laying down. How are you? How was your day?” As you speak, you move to sit up, your back resting against the headboard. “My day was good. It was nice to spend some time with the kids and catch up. We did a puzzle and talked, it was a nice day. How was your day, baby?” 

“It was good, busy. Basically hopped off the plan straight into rehearsals.” You let out an airy laugh. “I’m sorry sweet girl, I should let you get some sleep.” His voice trails off at the end and you know he genuinely feels bad for calling so late. “No, no…it’s fine. I want to talk to you. I don’t start as early tomorrow so I have some time to sleep in.” You assure him. “Are you sure baby? We can always talk tomorrow.” “I’m sure.” You let out a small yawn and Hugh chuckles.  “Hm, if you say so.” 

“Whatever..” You say playfully. The line goes quiet for a moment, neither of you speaking. “So uh…you told your kids about us?” 

You wanted to ease into asking but you were dying to know. Thay had been the number one reason you’d been so hesitant to take on a relationship with Hugh and you know their opinion means something to him too. If they didn’t approve or had any distaste towards your pairing, you weren’t sure if you could be with Hugh without having a heavy layer of guilt strapped to your heart. 

“Oh yea, I told them.” 

His response makes your heart skip a beat. Hugh was never one to beat around the bush but he was dragging this out and it scared you. 

“And what did they say?” 

Hugh takes a sharp breath in and your heart falls into your stomach. They don’t approve, you can sense the words about to tumble out of his mouth. 

“They’re fine with it.” 

His short answers are beginning to irritate you a little bit. You needed to know every detail of their conversation, you wouldn’t be able to sleep without it. 

“Hugh, can you please just tell me everything? Your lack of words is driving me insane.” You draw out the end of the last word, showing him just how frustrated you are. 

“I’m sorry baby, there's not much to tell. My daughter is a fan and begged me to introduce you two and um…well my son…he uh..this is so fucking awkward…” He huffs. “What did he say? I’m sure it can’t be that bad if they’re fine with everything right? Just spit it out, I can take it.” He sighs. “My son has a crush on you.” 

“Oh!” You can feel your body heat up underneath your duvet. “That uh…that is kinda awkward. What did he say about us being together then?” 

“He said something about how he doesn't understand how I was able to ‘bag a baddie’ like you, whatever that means.” You laugh at that. “He’s not mad, just jealous I guess. I’m really gonna have to keep an eye out for him when you meet them. I trust him, he’s my son, but I’m not gonna stand for his eyes wandering on my girl.”

You laugh again, partially because of his words and partially because of how wild this entire conversation is. 

“Well I’d love to meet your daughter and she’s free to come to any show she wants, I'll get her in. Same goes for your son as well, if that’s okay with you. I don’t want you to get too jealous and cause a fight between you two.” You giggle through the last few words. 

“Yea yea, we’ll see.” 

The line goes quiet again, a comfortable silence. 

“Hugh, I have a question.” “Shoot baby.” You can hear the sleepiness starting to appear in his voice. “I was wondering if you’d be okay with me going to talk to Pedro soon?” You hear rustling on his end before he speaks again. “Why do you want to do that?” There’s a slight hint of anger in his tone but you know it’s not towards you but towards how Pedro treated you. “I really need to talk things out with him. As much as I'm over him, there’s still a little part of me that needs closure, that needs to ask questions. I want this part of my life to be done but I need to have it properly sealed off.” “Could you wait until I’m back in town? I trust you but I don’t trust him one bit.” You smile at his protectiveness. “I really want to fix everything before the tour starts. I need to talk to Ashley too and the sooner I can get over this, the sooner I can put all my focus on the tour and you. So unless you’re planning on being back in town in a week, I need to do this alone. Is that okay?” He sighs and takes a moment. “Of course that’s fine baby. Just keep me updated on everything that happens.” “I will.” The two of you talk for 20 more minutes before you both call it a night, ending the call with “I love you”. 

The next morning, you immediately texted Hugh before rolling out of bed and starting your day. You showered, brushed your teeth, got dressed, and made your way to the kitchen. You opted for a lazy breakfast, too tired to do anything else. You popped a bagel into the toaster and fried an egg, laying a slice of cheese on top to melt. You made your little bagel breakfast sandwich and washed a few berries to go with it. 

While you ate, you scrolled through your phone. Hugh hasn't texted you back yet but it didn't surprise you. He was up late and with his age, he needed his sleep. You smiled to yourself as you thought about how peaceful he looks while he’s deep in sleep. While scrolling through instagram, you get an ad for Gladiator II. Your ex’s stupid hot face was plastered on your phone. You sighed and pulled up his contact. You were grateful you deleted the text thread you once had, you weren’t sure if you could handle seeing all of the previous sweet words he used to send you. 

You: hey p, it’s y/n. I was wondering if we could meet up soon and talk? no pressure :) 

Once you hit send, you locked your phone and slid it across your kitchen table. Your phone buzzed a few seconds later and your heart started beating faster…there’s no way he could have already responded. You reached for your phone, having to lift out of your chair slightly. When your phone unlocks, your heart slows down, it’s just Hugh. 

You texted back and forth with Hugh all morning until you pulled up to the Kia Forum. Tour was officially a week away from starting which meant you got to rehearse in the venue that would be starting the tour off. You’d been in the Forum a few times for various concerts but being here for your own performance was a different animal. Knowing that this place was sold out for you was wild. You caught up with all of your dancers, them sharing the same excitement. The energy in the building was electric. The crew was excited to get their creations in full and everyone was just happy to finally be starting. 

With being in a new space, the start of rehearsal was a bit slow. Lights, sounds, and various other things had to be adjusted now that everything was in full. You didn’t mind though. It gives you a chance to slow down and appreciate how far you’ve come. It was lunchtime and you decided to hide away in your dressing room to eat. A few people offered you to come with them but you really needed a moment to yourself. You were overwhelmed but in a good way. You grabbed some food from the catering someone had ordered, you made a note to yourself to find out who it was and thank them. 

Once you got to your dressing room, you pulled your phone out of your purse and scrolled through your notification log. Hugh’s messages were the first thing you saw. You were responding to everything he had sent when another message popped up at the top of your phone. 

pedro: hey y/n. I’m free today if you wanna swing by sometime? 

You pulled up to the familiar gates and typed in the code that was still etched in your brain. Once you parked your car in the semi circle driveway, you texted Pedro that you were here before taking a deep breath and stepping out of your car. It always looked out of place next to the large home, even more now that you didn’t belong here the way you once had. One of the brown French style doors open just as you're walking up the three concrete steps that lead to the entrance. You look up from your shoes. Locking eyes with Pedro, you feel your heart tense up. The pain of losing the man you had felt so deeply for re-entered your body involuntarily. He was wearing his typical casual attire: a pair of black cotton shorts, his beloved yellow lakers tee, and a pair of long black socks. The slight gray in his hair had begun to spread, the sides of his beard almost losing all color. He looked as handsome as ever. He held the door open with one arm, leaning slightly. A small smile rested on his face and his brown puppy dog eyes gave you the same feeling they had when you had first met him. 

“Hi y/n.” His voice sounded almost hesitant. “Hi P…Thanks for having me.” He backs up to let you inside. You slip your shoes off, like you had many times before. “No problem. I’m kinda surprised you wanted to talk to me, thought you would’ve been done with me after…well you know.” You don’t answer, instead you walk towards his living room and plop yourself down in the spot you had claimed many months ago, Pedro taking his own claimed spot not too far from yours. “It’s weird seeing you there again…missed seeing you here.” You sigh. “Pedro…don’t say that.” “Why not?” “You don’t get to miss me when you’re the one that left me. You hurt me P. Not the other way around.” He scoffs. “Sure didn’t seem too hurt to me. You moved on just fine.” “Can you stop being an asshole for two fucking seconds?” 

You wanted to come into this with patience and maturity but Pedro was making that impossible. He was being completely insufferable and had been since the moment he broke up with you, like it was somehow your fault. You missed the kind Pedro, the one you had fallen for. 

“Well it’s true, isn’t it? It took a month before you fell into someone else's arms, no let me clarify, my friend’s arms.” You could tell he was trying to get under your skin and you didn’t know where he gained this hatred for you. His voice was sour, a scowl present on his face. 

“God Pedro…” You sigh in anger. “Yes I invited him to the album party but he was there for me when you sat there and yelled- no embarrassed me at my own event. You don’t get to play victim in this situation. We weren’t together and hadn’t been together for weeks by the time I met him.” You could tell you were beginning to lose control over your emotions. The anger and pain both battled reaching for your throat begging to take control over your next words. 

His eyes go soft as he starts to speak again. “Y/n…I’m sorry about that, I was drunk and I-” 

You couldn’t help but laugh. 

“You know what? Fuck you Pedro. Truly. You are the most selfish person I’ve ever met. You broke up with me because the pressure was too hard on you. You come to my event and try to grab me, then you yell at me because Hugh came to check on me. Now you’re mad that I found someone that actually gives two shits about me, that isn’t afraid to deal with whatever comes with dating a younger girl? I’m over it.” You laugh again. “And now you want to apologize for that night when you’ve been nothing but rude since I sat on this couch? I came here for closure, nothing more. I liked you Pedro. I really really like you and you crushed my heart that night and every time I’ve seen you after. I don’t understand what I did to deserve this hatred that you’ve been throwing at me but it’s not fair.” 

Your anger had won the battle but your sadness would win the war. Your voice broke on your last words, hot tears pouring down your cheeks. 

“It’s not fucking fair P…” 

You tuck your face into your sweatshirt, allowing yourself to cry in peace. Pedro doesn’t speak and the silence lasts for what feels like forever. You could feel a slight movement on the couch, then two warm arms wrap around your shoulder, a chin resting atop your head. The two of you stay like that for a while. You let your tears flood your cheeks until there aren’t any left. 

“I’m so sorry babygirl. I didn’t mean to hurt you like this.” 

You slowly pull your face out of the sweater. One of Pedro’s arms drops to rest on his leg, the other lay across your shoulders still. His water line was filled with his own tears, eyes red. 

“Then why did you?” He takes a moment to think and pulls you into his chest. Your head resting right above his heart, the beat a little faster than the one you had memorized. 

“Shit y/n…I know no matter how I say this, it’s gonna sound fucked up.” He squeezes his arms gently. “I was so scared, baby. When everyone started to form their opinions on us and kept pinning me to be some weirdo, I freaked out. I’m at the height of my career and I couldn’t imagine losing that…and you were right, I'm selfish. When I let you go, I immediately regretted it. I showed up to your party wanting to apologize. I had a few drinks, some liquid courage if you will, but damn baby, those fruity little drinks were a lot stronger than I thought they’d be.” You chuckle at the comment. “I was waisted by the time I saw you and when…Hu-...when he came to defend you, I lost my shit. I was so pissed off. Even in the state I was in, the look in his eyes was loud. He looked at you with so much adoration and I knew I’d already lost you.” 

He pauses. 

“I’m not trying to make excuses for myself, I just..I just want you to- no, I need you to know what happened. I’m sorry for being an ass today too. I guess I’m not over you and it hurts that you’re over me.” 

You look up at him. 

“I’m not trying to be mean when I say this P but it’s your fault. I could’ve loved you….I was falling in love with you. My time with you was special, so different than anything I’d ever felt before. I think we would’ve been good together. If you would have talked to me, maybe things would be different. You should have talked to me.” 

“We could’ve been the greatest?” He gives a lazy smile down to you and you look down in shame, wincing slightly. “You watched it?” You ask quietly. “Yea I did.” He pauses. “You sounded beautiful up there, you’re so talented y/n…even if it was so clearly targeted towards me.” The arm that's wrapped around your shoulder moves, his hand resting on your head now, moving in slow circles. 

“Would you ever give us another chance?” He asks, looking down at you. The hope in his eyes pains you. 

“I love him P…” You see the small glimmer of happiness drain from his face. You were feeling just as hurt, knowing that if Hugh hadn’t entered your life when he did or if you had talked to Pedro sooner, you’d give him another chance without a second thought. 

“Does he treat you good?” You almost scoff at the question, given who’s asking, but you don’t have the heart to be mean to him anymore. “Yea he does…” You smile at the thought of just how well Hugh does treat you. “Well, then I’m happy for you.” 

“Are you really or are you just trying to be nice?” You joke and he shrugs. “The latter but truthfully if you were going to be with anyone other than myself, I’m glad it’s him. He’s good.” He smiles down at you and it almost reaches his eyes. “Speaking of Hugh…you kinda owe him an apology, mister.” You poke at the side of his chest that you’re not leaning on. “For what? Stealing my girl?” His words make your tummy stir. “I wasn’t your girl anymore. You called him old and yelled at him. He’s your friend, so apologize.” 

“He is old.” You punch his arm and give him a look. “Ow..fuck. Fine, I’ll apologize but I’m not sure how buddy buddy I can be with him anymore.” “I don’t really care about that, as long as you’re nice to him.” 

He doesn’t respond. You spend a few minutes feeling the warmth of his embrace, it was something you were going to miss. As much as you loved Hugh, Pedro had been someone special to you and it hurt to let him go, even with what he put you through. 

“How much longer do my pictures have on your instagram before I’m replaced by Hugh?” He jokes and your eyes go wide. “Oh fuck me…” You had completely forgotten about the pictures that littered your page. “I will.” He smirks. “Shut the fuck up. I’m deleting them in front of your face just for saying that.” You whip out your phone. There are a few texts from Hugh on the homescreen asking how it’s going. “I’m surprised your guard dog let you come alone.” “Oh believe me, he didn’t want me to but he’s in New York and couldn’t stop me.” You open instagram. “And for that comment, I'm making you press delete on these. You can feel the finalization of us being over. Consider it punishment for being such a dick.”  He laughed and pressed delete on the first one. 

In the third picture, you started to regret this ‘punishment’. “We were a cute couple. You remember that one? That’s when you came over and we fucked like rabbits all week-” “Okay your done. Give me my phone.” You shove him away after and he lets out a deep belly laugh. The sound made you pause for a moment. This was the Pedro you had enjoyed being around. It was always so easy to joke around with him and be yourself. You would miss him. 

series taglist: @chronicallybubbly @spideybv28 @pear-1206 @robertthehoover @reidsworld @bloody-bunni666 @quillycrow @kythefangirl25 @bluetimeombre @cskidjgsjaoaknayan52782 @thewiselionessss @annagraceevanss @peterparkernotfound @rogueinmymind @samsamsantos @wolviesgirl @white-wolf-buckaroo @weskerussy @marvelgirlie-4 @honey-ros3ss @nonamevenus @nizem8 @chaimshelii @rockerchick05 @starryeddie @saylak @haytchee @godlypresley @mega-kittyglitter-1 @acescutejeans-1247 @bethexo07

*taglist closed*

[achilles-rage]

Good Luck Charm: Chapter 6

college football player!buck x plus size!reader

summary: you go to the coffee shop with elijah, making you miss your meeting with evan. he has many questions the next day, which means some feelings are revealed.

word count: 3.1k

previous chapter

series masterlist

A/N: i have nothing to say other than i love how this turned out. enjoy<3

warnings: none, no use of y/n, fem!reader, inexperienced!reader, race inclusive!reader

The next Tuesday, you’re at the coffee shop with Elijah like you planned, and he will not stop asking you questions. You happily answer them at first, but the more he asks, the more ridiculous his questions get, until you’re explaining the most basic points of the class to him. You’re also a little pissed off because you were supposed to hang out with Evan today, but it was long past the time you were supposed to meet him, and you had to text him and tell him you wouldn’t be able to make it.

He’s talking so much that you don’t even have time to read Evan’s texts, asking you where you are and if you’re okay. As bored as you are, you don’t want to be rude and check your phone. You have a fake smile plastered to your face as you listen to him speak, chiming in every now and then, but your thoughts are completely on Evan.

“I really appreciate you helping me out. I’ve been meaning to talk to you since the start of classes.” Elijah tells you after a couple hours, leaning closer to you across the table as your eyes widen slightly. The smile drops from your face. Evan was right, you think, maybe this isn’t about class at all. You’re not used to this kind of attention, so you’re surprised at his words.

“Oh?” you ask in a soft voice, nervously, as if speaking quietly enough would make him drop the subject. You aren’t looking forward to this. If you hadn’t met Evan, you’re sure you would’ve been giddy at the idea of Elijah wanting to talk to you, but he hardly compares to the stupid blue eyed man you’ve gotten to know. Plus, Evan’s words about not wanting you to go out with him are currently echoing through your head.

“Yeah. I was actually wondering if you wanted to hang out again? No class work. Like, a date?” he asks, his voice full of hope as he looks at you expectantly. You sigh, biting the inside of your cheek, trying to think of what to say.

“I’m sorry, I can’t. I liked helping you out, but, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” you tell him softly with an apologetic smile on your face, as if raising your voice any more would make your words any more harsh. He clears his throat, looking down at his empty coffee cup as he nods.

“Yeah, right. Of course. No problem.” he says awkwardly. He starts packing up his stuff quickly as he stands up, and you watch him with guilt in your eyes. As happy as you are that you can finally leave, you feel bad.

“I’ll see you in class?” you ask, starting to pack your stuff up, giving him a small smile. You don’t want him to feel bad, and you dread the awkwardness you’ll have to endure for the rest of the semester. He’s nice enough, but you just can’t get your mind off of Evan.

“Uh, yeah, right. I’ll see you later. Thanks again.” he says quickly, giving you a nod before leaving the coffee shop. You get up slowly, giving him a minute before you leave and make your way home. You were supposed to meet Evan over an hour ago, and he’s probably already at home by now. You don’t want to make him walk back to campus to meet you, so you decide not to text him. You’ll see him tomorrow, anyway.

“Why couldn’t you hang out yesterday?” Evan asks immediately when he sees you, falling into step with you as you walk out of your class, his brows furrowed. He’s learned your schedule by now, and he knows where to go if he wants to talk to you. And he desperately wants to talk to you about this. You haven’t cancelled on him in the almost 4 weeks you’ve known each other, and you didn’t give him a reason when he texted you. You told him you were sorry, but you didn’t feel like typing out your whole explanation over text. Knowing him, he’d probably call you immediately, wanting to know every. single. detail.

And you really didn’t want to deal with that over the phone.

“I went out with Elijah, he had a lot of questions, we stayed late at the coffee shop.” you tell him, rolling your eyes with a smile as you see his jaw clench instinctively. He raises a brow and gestures for you to continue, hoping this story doesn’t end how he thinks it might. He really hopes you staying late doesn’t mean that you were having a good time, and he was losing you.

“He, uh, asked me out.” you mention after a moment, ducking your head slightly as you keep walking, waiting for his reaction. He’s probably going to say “I told you so,” and you don’t want to hear it.

He stops walking and grabs your arm to stop you too. He spins you gently to face him, ducking his head slightly to match your height better.

“What did you say?” he says through gritted teeth, his jealousy bubbling up as he thinks about you alone with Elijah. His hands on you, rather than his own.

“I said no.” you tell him, biting your lip as you wait for his reaction. You assume he’ll be relieved, having clearly stated his dislike for the guy, but you selfishly want to pretend he cares about you not going out with him for more reasons than just a general dislike for him.

“Why?” he asks after a moment. He’s staring at you intently, eyes trying to search for any sign of you actually liking Elijah.

“You said you didn’t want me to.” you state, shrugging as if that was the only reason you needed. He lets out a quiet sigh and looks down, nodding slowly as he shoves his hands in his pockets, feeling slightly relieved.

“Was there any other reason?” His eyes dart up to your face again, licking his lips as he waits for your reply. You shrug, biting your lip as you avert your gaze from his, your skin heating up as you think about what to say. He takes in your nervous stance, and the gears are turning in his head as he tries to figure out what you’re thinking. Maybe he was right before, he thinks, maybe you did like him, and that’s why you’re so nervous around him. As you start to stutter out a fake response, he grabs your wrist and tugs you into an empty classroom.

“What are you-” you get out before his lips are on yours, using one hand on the back of your neck to guide you up to him. He’s holding you firmly, but gently enough that you can pull away if he’s painfully wrong about your feelings for him.

Your lips meet his in a dizzying kiss and his other hand moves to your hip, pulling you flush against him. He groans softly as he feels your chest and tummy push against his torso, and he tilts your head further up into the kiss.

It takes a moment for you to kiss him back, eyes wide as you realize that his lips are on yours. You close your eyes after a moment, kissing him deeply. He bites down on your lip gently, making you gasp softly, which allows him to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your mind goes blank as you kiss him, and you’re unsure of what to do, other than put your hands on his chest and kiss him back. He’s resisting every urge to take you in the middle of this classroom, and after a minute, he turns you and pushes your back against the door he kicked closed after he pulled you in. You whimper softly as your back hits the door, trailing one of your hands up his chest to his jaw and arching your back slightly as you try to somehow get any closer than you already are.

You continue to kiss him for a little longer, until you feel his hands slowly going from your hips to your ass, squeezing it roughly. You suddenly realize where you are and what you’re doing, and pull back with wide eyes, looking up at him nervously.

“We can’t.” you whisper. You trail your hand back down to his chest as you look up at him, noticing the lust in his eyes.

“Why? We’re alone, no one is around.” he teases softly, slowly leaning back in again to meet your lips. You push him back softly, shaking your head with a small laugh.

“Not here.” you whisper, feeling your stomach fill with a newfound nervousness. Location aside, you’ve never done anything like this before, and you feel you’re just now remembering that. As much as you want to keep kissing him, you’re filled with dread. Scared that you’ll do the wrong thing.

“Then where, princess? Where can I have you all to myself?” he asks desperately, itching to have his lips back on you, pulling soft whimpers from your pretty lips. He ducks his head as your eyes wander down to your hands on his chest, smoothing the fabric down to keep yourself grounded.

“I don’t know.” you reply, voice barely audible.

“I wanna take you back to my place. Now.” he tells you roughly, the hand on the back of your head moving to your jaw and tilting your head up. You can’t help but smile at his eagerness, but you can’t ignore the way your stomach is churning.

“I have class in an hour.” you try to reason. You really do have class, but you’re mostly just too nervous to continue this right now, and you figure it’s an easy way out. You feel like you need to hype yourself up to what he’s alluding to.

“Skip it. It’s only the fourth week of classes, you have some time to catch up. I can think of something else much better for you to do than sit in class, anyway.” he purrs, lowering his face to your neck, kissing it softly.

“You’re a bad influence.” you tease softly, but you can’t help but tilt your head back as he kisses you. You move your arms to wrap around his neck, resting your forearms on his shoulders as your hands dangle behind his head.

“You have no idea, princess. Just wait until I get you alone in my house. You’ll see just how bad of an influence I can be.” he whispers in your ear, smirking to himself. You may be stubborn, but all he’s thinking of right now is how you’d look sprawled under him on his bed, and he’s dying to get you to agree.

You bite your lip, trying not to let a noise escape your mouth as your heartbeat quickens. You’re fighting the urge to give in, and you know you should push him away. He seems to pick up on you trying to keep quiet, too focused on his mouth on your neck to respond, and he leans back to meet your gaze. He sees the unsure look in your eyes; your eyes wide and pupils blown as you look up at him, speechless.

“You’re so damn cute when you get all shy, princess, but don’t think that it’ll save you when I take you back to my place.” He knows this will make your breath catch in your throat and stutter out your words, and that’s exactly what he wants. It’s becoming clear to him that you’re not completely used to this type of attention, and he wants to make you squirm.

“Save me from what?” you ask, tilting your head to the side. Your brain is so fuzzy from the kiss that you can barely think, his suggestive tone going completely over your head.

“From everything I plan on doing to you when we get there. I have a feeling you’ve never been properly taken care of before, and I’m going to change that.” He smirks down at you as your eyes widen slightly before you look down. He knows you’re on the edge of giving in, so he asks you again.

“Please tell me you’ll come with me now.” he all but begs, a sense of urgency in his voice. He feels the stiffness in his jeans, and he would do just about anything to get you to go home with him. Now.

You feel your hands shaking slightly as he looks down at you, waiting desperately for your answer. You swallow and let out a shaky breath as you weigh out the options in your head. On one hand, you want to go with him so bad, imagining how his hands would feel on you. But on the other hand, you really do have class, nervousness aside. Your nerves are at an all time high as you think about being alone with him in his room, trying to keep up with his very obvious experience. You close your eyes for a moment before opening them again and speaking.

“I can’t.” you whisper as you look back up at him, feeling a little bad when you see his face fall. He nods after a moment, clearing his throat and backing away from you.

“Okay.” He’s not angry, far from it. He’s a little disappointed, but he can sense your nervousness, feeling the way your hands were shaking slightly while they rested on his chest. He isn’t going to push you into it. That’s the last thing he wants to do.

“Are you still good to go to the library later?” he asks after a moment, trying to ease your nerves by pretending that everything is normal. He smiles softly when you nod.

“Good. I better go, I was supposed to be in class 10 minutes ago. Got distracted,” he says with a grin, winking at you. “See you later, princess.”

He turns and opens the door, but stops suddenly as if he forgot something. He turns back to you, grabbing your chin and bringing your lips to his for a quick kiss, then pulls back and turns back to the door.

You nod mindlessly, still thinking about the way his lips felt on yours. You blink slowly and lick your lips, feeling yourself lower back to reality once you can’t feel his presence anymore. You’re still reeling from the kiss, and your knees feel weak as you slowly make your way outside to a picnic table in the courtyard. You pull out your laptop and try to do some work before your next lecture, but your thoughts are consumed by how he felt pressed up against you.

When you meet at the library later, you’re finally able to calm your nerves, but your heart starts to race as soon as you see his face. You’re not sure how to react around him now. This is completely new to you, so you try to act the exact same as before he kissed you.

He tries to go at your pace, resisting the urge to kiss you as you try to focus on your assignment, but it’s hard. His eyes keep making their way down your body, and he can’t seem to take his eyes off your soft tummy. Your whole body makes him weak, but he thinks he likes your belly the most. He likes how it moves when you laugh, and how he can see its soft imprint when you’re wearing something more form fitting. All he wants to do is touch and kiss it until you’re giggling and squirming under him.

You try to ignore the way his eyes are moving down your figure, as it’s making you even more nervous and shaky, but it’s almost impossible. You keep your eyes on your laptop, as he speaks to you, pursing your lips as you try to remain as neutral as possible.

“What’s got you so jumpy today, princess?” he teases, resting his head on his hand as he leans on the table, body angled at you.

“Nothing.” you say, trying to keep the smile off your face as you see his smirk from the corner of your eye. He parts his lips slightly as he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek, eyes glancing down to your lips yet again.

“That’s harsh.” he teases, which makes you laugh softly and shake your head. You momentarily forget that you’re supposed to be nervous, and you turn to look at him with a glint in your eye.

“Do you have to be like this all the time?” He chuckles softly, shrugging.

“You love it, and you know it. I like making you squirm.” he affirms, leaning closer to you. You look back at your screen, laughing softly, until you realize the time.

“Don’t you have practice soon?” you alert him, which makes him groan and tilt his back. His mind is so occupied by you that he completely forgot about practice. He knows he can’t miss it. His coach would kill him if he skipped, but he wants to stay here with you.

“Yeah, whatever. I guess I should go.” he huffs after a moment, taking one last opportunity to check you out. You let out a sad sigh. You know he has to go to practice, but you really don’t want to part ways with him yet. You start to pack up your laptop, standing up as he does.

As soon as you exit the library and are about to part ways, he stops you, making you look up at him.

“Good luck kiss for the road?” he asks in a slightly teasing tone, but his eyes are hopeful. You laugh softly, nodding as you lean up on your toes and giving him a quick peck. He tries to deepen the kiss by putting a hand on your jaw, but you pull away, looking around campus in slight embarrassment about your PDA.

“Go to practice, Buckley.” you tell him sternly, but he knows you’re not being serious because of the smile plastered to your face.

“Yes ma’am.” he replies smugly, giving you one last peck before he takes a few steps back, winking before he finally turns and walks toward the stadium. You watch him for a moment with a smile before you turn and start walking toward your apartment. You can’t wait to tell your roommate about your day, knowing you won’t be able to hide it from her for long.

next chapter

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[polly-pocket13]

You are the best.

Hey Y/N, can we talk?

You received this message from Bakugou a few minutes ago, and you were still staring at your mobile phone. You start to get anxious.

Did he find out about your crush on him?

No, you didn't make it obvious.

Right?

Sure, come to my Room. 

You finally responded to his text. 

A couple of Minutes later, he was already knocking on your door.

“Please come in,” you instructed him. 

He greeted you with a, “Hey, Dwarf.”

This piece of shit always called you Dwarf just to make you angry.

You rolled your eyes and said, “I told you not to call me Dwarf.”

“But it is kind of cute when you are annoyed about it, Dwarf.” he said with a big smirk across his face.

You immediately began to blush after he called you cute.

“You are the biggest asshole, I have ever met, Bakugou. What do you want?,” you asked him.

He told you, “Calm down, aggressive gnome,” and sat down on your bed.

“I need your help.”, he said you, kind of nervous.

“My Help? Why do you need my help?” you asked him confused. 

Bakugou asking for help?

He has never asked someone for help. 

Like never.

“It's about a girl, and you're a girl,” he started to explain. 

About a girl? 

So he likes a girl?

Is this girl you? 

It must be you, he is hanging out a lot with you. 

And there is this thing.

This special connection between you two. 

“You can help me with that. Right?” he asked you and interrupted your thoughts. 

“Excuse me, what did you say?" you asked confused because you were stuck in your thoughts before.

“Y/N, it is essential to me. So, can you please listen to me? I want to tell the girl that I like her. Like, really like her.” he told you now once again.

Again, a million thoughts flooded your mind.

He is in love with a girl. 

Is it possible that you are this person?

You need text Y/BF (Your Best Friend)

You cleared your throat and started talking to him, “Just tell her you like her. It is not that damn hard.” 

Now he is the one who rolls his eyes. “I want to make it special,” he responded to you with annoyance.

Make it Special?

You never thought that Bakugou is romantic.

“You want to make something special.” you repeated and started thinking.

Several moments later, you said, “Maybe you could go for a walk with her and buy her some flowers. Actually, I never thought about these kinds of things” 

“Don't you think this is kind of basic?” he asked you.

“I don't know. I would enjoy it.” you told him and shrugged your shoulders.

“Well, thank you for your help. I must get these fucking flowers before the store closes. I definitely need to tell her today that I like her” he said and had already left your room.

After he left your room, you took a deep breath.

Is he really preparing himself to confess his love to you, or is there someone else? 

Why he is in such a hurry to confess his feelings to someone.

You took your phone and texted Y/BF.

Do think Bakugou is interested in me?

She quickly replied.

Absolutely. I have the feeling you and him hanging out all the time.

After you read her/his message, you decided to take a little walk to clear your thoughts.

If you are the girl he is crushing on, he will probably text you later.You left the residence hall and started walking. 

“I never thought you could be this romantic, Bakugou. Thank you for this special gift for my birthday. I really like you too” you heard a girl's voice say and looked in the direction where it came from. 

You stopped walking straight away and just stared at Bakugou and the girl.

He confessed his feelings to another girl.

Your world fell apart.

You simply stood there for minutes, watching them walk away. 

Why would you ever think that Bakugo might like you?

Your Phone vibrated.

Y/N she likes me back. Thank you for your help. You are the best. 

A/N: Hopefully, you will enjoy it. 

Polly ^^

[youraverageaemondsimp]

DILF!Aemond Targaryern, DILF!Aegon ii Targaryen x Reader (Separate) // HEADCANONS/DRABBLE.

WARNINGS: slight smut, mdni, afab!reader, age gap, breeding kink (aemond), p in v sex (aemond), unprotected sex (aemond), cunnilingus (aegon), oral f receiving (aegon), + not proof read.

(this is technically not a full blown hcs but neither is it a full drabble, so that's why I added both in the title)

WC: 1.3k total (aemond + aegon parts)

Aemond Targaryen !!

You knew that you definitely needed an older guy after your immature and toxic break up with the guy around your age, who treated you with almost no value.

But what you didn't expect was to catch the eye of your dad's boss during an event you had attended with him, he was in his early thirties with 2 children with his former divorced wife, Floris Baratheon.

Your relationship began quite formally at first, with him being a complete gentleman, asking you about your educational background, what job you were doing and he had asked for your number ‘just in case’ you need a job if you lose the current one, it felt more like a job offer than a normal conversation.

Until he began to text you good mornings, ask you about your day — at first he would do just that, and leave a smiley emoji after your response, but as time passed on, and you felt more comfortable around each other, he began to share a few personal things.

He had opened up about his divorce with his wife, how it affected him and the kids, — oh the kids, he would share pictures of them when he would be the one spending time with him, he had told you that he was fighting for full custody since Floris was basically neglecting them when they're spending time with her, and you wished him luck.

Soon you both begin to meet up, go on dates, he was stoic, with no expression on his face so it was hard to read through him, but eventually you'd learn to decipher his micro expressions.

You couldn't ignore the way he made you feel anymore, and you made it official, your dad was shocked and angry thinking Aemond had abused his power to get to you but once you explained everything, he calmed down.

You moved out of your apartment into his house, he had given you heads up about the kids that they're hard to handle and dont welcome strangers that easily, but you had told him that you'll manage everything.

And eventually you got along with the kids, and everything in life seemed to be moving fast from there onwards, Aemond got full custody of the kids after proving the neglect they were facing from the mother's side. Which you congratulate him about.

He would often stare at you when you'd play with the kids, he couldn't help but have the thought of your stomach swollen with his child, he'd eventually confess to you about it during your intimate moments.

“Oh fuck— yes right there!” You throw your head back against the pillows as Aemond thrusts into at full force, his desperate hands grabbing any flesh he could find, giving it a tight squeeze. You moaned as you peaked, as his tip repeatedly hit your sweet spot.

“I'm coming.” He grunts, “Jeez— I want to finish inside you so bad, watch you grow round with my child– fuck— I can only imagine the sight.” His words made you feel warm on the inside, and when he went to pull out, you locked your legs around his waist, to which he was surprised by, “Do it inside me then.” You say seductively and he immediately begins to thrust rapidly, he finishes inside you with a moan, painting your walls white before he pulls out, watching intently as his seed drips out of your cunt.

“Mhm, I think Aerys and Rhaegal would love to have a little sister.” He says as he plops down next to you, pulling you into his arms, “I think they would.” You reaffirm, rubbing your thighs together, feeling even more turned on as his seed sticks to your thighs.

“We should definitely make sure it takes.” You tell him, implying at a second round and he smirks knowingly.

Aegon ii Targaryen !!

You met him in a club you went to when you tried to destress because of your exams. He immediately took a liking to you, at first you had guessed that he'd be around your age, so imagine your surprise when you found out that he was in his mid thirties.

He laughed when you told him about it, he was extremely outgoing, in fact, too outgoing and so much of an extrovert.

You both immediately clicked, enjoying each other's company and finally exchanged numbers. He had drunk too much and eventually overshared everything about how his wife passed away in childbirth, leaving him with a child who he is working hard to raise.

“I try my best to raise him, but it gets too tiring. You know, I had hired a nanny, but I wish I could just quit my job and spend more time with him.” He shares, “Where do you work?” You ask curiously, “Hightower Co.” and your eyes widen at that, “Isn't that a really difficult place to get into? Their employee selection rate is super low, and I heard their manager is quite picky.” you shrug and he chuckles, “Well I guess I am indeed picky sometimes.”

“what.”

You apologised immediately after feeling embarrassed, he had revealed that his grandfather owns the company and basically wants his family members to run and manage it, though it screams nepotism, most of the hightowers and their extended family are extremely good at their ages, there were only a few select non-family members that were able to make to a non-basic worker status.

Things ended awkwardly after that, but nonetheless, you both communicated with each other from time to time, he would send you cute pictures and videos of himself and his son doing random stuff, or just bonding which warmed your heart.

After a month of talking, you both decide to get into a relationship, you knew it was quick, but you couldn't help it when you got along so well, he would often bring his child on the dates with you, which you didn't mind, but rather had more fun cause this would allow you to go non-romantic dates which are rather comforting.

If there was one thing which you didn't expect of Aegon ; was his sexual appetite, which he had a lot of, you were surprised by how much stamina he has, and how he's willing to go more than 3 rounds at a time, it sometimes exhausted you because you'd be too overstimulated to even continue.

You still remember how he had fingered you whilst at the family dinner under the table while maintaining a conversation with his grandfather, you tried so hard to not make a noise. He eventually finished what he started in his bedroom.

His favourite thing to do is eat you out, he loves the expressions and noises you make and how messy it would be afterwards.

“Aegon— ahh— hmm pls–” You blabber out incoherent noises whilst you grip his hair, pushing his face further into your cunt which he takes in obediently, lapping his tongue up and down and suckling on your clit as if his life depended on it.

The whimpers and noises you let out only motivated him further to continue his ministrations, he dipped down further while his tongue pushes past the folds of your cunt before entering it, the angle caused his nose to be pressed into your clit, nudging against it while Aegon greedily ate you out.

He pushed his tongue in and out before he licked a long strip up to your clit and once again, latched himself onto it, you moaned when you felt his teeth slightly graze against it.

He sucked on your clit which caused you to peak while holding his face tightly against your cunt, your vision went white at the intensity of the orgasm and your body trembled as you calmed down.

Yet Aegon did not stop, you pulled his hair in an effort to pull away, but he grabbed your hand and held it away while he continued to devour you, you whimpered as the overstimulation hit you, trying to wriggle away from his face yet he still didn't budge and continued sucking, nibbling and biting your clit.

After all, he had no intentions of stopping until you were a mess.

[yuoniz]

LOVE STRINGS — TUBATU

synopsis . tubatu as beabadoobee songs

투바투 : txt x gnr ☁️ 1.1K — fluff ❨ warnings ❩ suggestive, profanity, txt down bad losers yes! 𓍼 note — repost again but who really cares┆(bookshelf)

OO1 ┊CHOI YEONJUN

as glue song

if you guys were in a relationship, you would basically be in a relationship w this song

this songs just embodies yeonjun

this man would fall in love pretty quickly if you knew the right ways to make his heart flutter

he would still feel like he came back from his first date w you after you both go on dates.

bros go to line would be "where are you rn?"

like even if you just called him 5 mins ago that you're coming to his house he would still text you

or if you just left the dorm

you would literally be stuck to him by the glue (😆😆)

he can't even find the right words to express what he feels for you

theres so much he wants to express because I see him as a very expressive person

its the little things he does that show how much he loves you

putting his hand against the top of a cabinet so when you bring your head up it would hit the edge

allowing you to use him as a makeshift chair at anytime

this man will never say no to you

if you want something, he'd simply just nod his head

if you want boba, he'd kiss your forehead and leave the apartment after saying 'I love you'

he's seriously so whipped for you plss

"have I ever told you how pretty you look?"

"jun, you said that five times this morning."

other members are under the cut !

OO2 ┊CHOI SOOBIN

as livelong

this song is so soobin coded idc

he would learn so much with being in a relationship with you

it would be one of those quiet times you both would spend together

you would be reading a book, resting on his lap

he would be massaging you head, stroking his fingers through your hair

and he would be lost in your eyes fixated on the book you were engrossed in

and he knew he was in love with you

everytime he sees you see would have so many thoughts running around his head and he would just make some weird noise whenever you ask him a question because he has so much to say

"did you listen to this song, bin? I love it sm."

"nngh"

🧍‍♀️

no because you're the partner he wants to grow old with

like he can't name a more beautiful person other than you

bro is so in love its actually concerning

and you would be to

thats how you both were

you both learn so much from each other through conversations, heated arguments, anything

and at the end of the day, you both were molded for each other

thats how yall were

"If we both had children should we call them soobeans?"

"babe..."

OO3 ┊CHOI BEOMGYU

as apple cider

plsss this song was dedicated to beomgyu

he would never express his feelings like

its giving friends to lovers with mutual pining, but half of the time its beomgyu acting like he hates you, denying his feelings but actually he's so in love with you.

he just doesn't know it yet

because why does he always hold your hand when you walk together in public?

oh so you wont get lost

ok so why does he call you "honey" in front of other people

so they won't bother you

like... ok bff

the deluder is deluding

"I don't even like you that much. Wait, I do, fuck"

TELL ME THAT AIN'T HIM

plss he'd be so awkward asking you out

"idk maybe if you wanna go out to watch or movie or something idk."

he'd blush so hard when you say yes

and when you both date

it would still be the same expect yall are dating HELPP

the way yall would bicker 80% of the time and then make out the other 20% of the time

its so cute to see him all flustered when you compliment him

"you are soo in love with me, gyu."

"SHUT UP!"

OO4 ┊KANG TAEHYUN

as you're here that's the thing

he'd want a simple relationship

he doesn't want to overcomplicate things

hell he'd even just want a no-label relationship

I so believe that this man is a "career>relationship"

sorry terry 😕

he'd want it to be lowkey

but when it's just the two of you, he's so???

no because why does he glitch everytime he sees you??

he feels so safe when you're just simply there

like you srsly got him wrapped around your finger

"tyun, I'm sorry I cant come tomorrow. Plus, what would happen if I'm not there."

"You're not there, that's the thing."

LIKE?????

he falls a bit too hard whenever he sees you

and you're sick of this no-label relationship

you want it to be more than just this

and you know he wants it too

so after months of contemplating

you confronted him

and he couldn't imagine his life without you

so without saying anything

he just kissed you

he loves you too much to let go of you

he's never felt this b4, but he liked it

"I know I don't say it. that much, but..."

"it's okay tyun, I do too."

OO1 ┊HUENING KAI

as art class

he's someone who would have a massive crush on someone (you) and he would think they won't like him back

he would be the first one to realise if you got a new haircut

or if you changed your perfume

he has a great memory when it comes to you.

He'd be so attentive when he listens to you

he would remember the little things like

"there's no way you got me this."

"you said you liked it when we were at the park."

PLSS HE SO CUTE

you'd notice his cute gestures

and you realised he liked you

you made him feel like his heart was an art class

he'd feel so wild yet it be in the calmest moments you both would have

he likes you so much, he doesn't know what to do

he's the type of person to feel so much and he actually doesn't know what to do

so you ask him if he wanted to go out

everything around you both froze, to him

he'd just stand there and nod

plsss

even after its a few months after you both start dating

he'd still be so utterly in love with you

he'd just wanted to be with you, doing nothing

if only you could read his mind.

"you looked so pretty today, not the you didn't look pretty yesterday or any other days! you actually look pretty everyday-"

"kai if you wanna kiss, just say so."

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎designer yuoniz ! do not copy, repost, translate any of my works

[taesanrot]

[love these days] eunseok x f!reader | 3.3k best friends to lovers, implied college au, making out, alc consumption, mutual pining, mls are both a lil dumb, cute n fluffy w a lil smut n angst syn. in which you drunkenly attempt to prove to your friends that you have absolutely no feelings towards your best friend (spoiler alert... you fail) note. storyline is based off of the manhwa these days love special! it's a super cute one shot and a comfort read for me so you guys should check it out. ++ thank u so so much for the support on the teaser, i honestly wrote it on a whim but i'm v proud of this fic so i hope u guys like it as welll <3

you winced at how loud your friends were yelling, sipping on your drink in a weak attempt to calm your nerves. you'd foolishly thought that coming out to drink with your friends would lift up your mood after your terrible week.

you were immediately proven wrong, chaewon and anton's loud arguing was making your head hurt and you just wanted to go home and snuggle into your blanket.

staring at the table top, you lost yourself in your own racing thoughts. you were pulled out of your trance as shotaro nudged you. you looked up at him drearily, and he gave you a sad smile, ruffling your hair.

"what's up? you seem downer than usual." you gave him a weak half smile, opening your mouth to answer his question. you were interrupted by a loud outburst from sohee.

"what do you guys think about guys and girls being best friends? do you think they can stay platonic?" the entire table erupted with noise, everyone drunkenly chiming in to answer his question.

"what on earth are you saying sohee? of course they can!"

"don't you know if you like someone the second you meet them? how can you catch feelings after being friends?"

"kissing my guy friends sounds fucking disgusting, yall stay safe."

you stayed silent, knowing better than to respond -- you already answered sohee's question with your own traitorous heart. you glanced at the table next to yours, eyes landing on the reason you were keeping your mouth shut.

your best friend, song eunseok.

who you were, unfortunately, in love with.

you and eunseok had met in during your college orientation, finding that your personalities clicked quite well as you discussed your respective majors and classes. the rest was history, you two bonded fast, and you quickly became one of his closest friends. it didn't help that the two of you lived in the same apartment complex, meaning that you basically ended up walking home together everyday.

it became a routine, even if the two of you had separate plans you'd meet up somewhere and walk back together

if you were being honest to yourself, you'd been attracted to eunseok from the day you'd met him.

sometimes, you'd think back to the early days of your and eunseok's friendship and wondered how you'd manage to not confess right then and there. chasing the high of the closeness of your friendship had satisfied you somehow.

these days, though, you started to think that you were losing your mind. your feelings for eunseok have only grown stronger as time has passed, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain your usual subtlety.

you felt like you were at your wit's end, ready to confess and be over all of this. and a couple days ago, you had been planning to do just that.

[...]

you reread eunseok's text in confusion, hoping you were walking in the right direction.

you had just gotten out of your last class, and eunseok had texted you to meet him and some other friends on the building's rooftop. you walked around a corner, recognize the back of eunseok's head and his terrible posture.

he was sitting at some picnic tables with two underclassman. just as you were about to wave, you hear one of the other boys speak.

"y/n.... as in kim y/n? you two are pretty close huh, eunseok?" you immediately darting back around the corner, hoping they hadn't seen you yet.

you pulse thrummed under your skin. they were talking about you. you felt your breath hitch as you heard eunseok's tired voice.

"cmon, you know it's not like that, sohee" sohee's loud laugh rang through the air.

"you wish it was though, don't you seokie?" a third voice, hong seunghan, chimed in. you cupped a hand over your mouth to suppress your nervous laughter. you heard eunseok shift in his seat before he spoke the words that would ruin your week.

"y/n.... she's nice and i like her. she's not even close to my type, though."

your face twitched and you clenched your hands into fists, nails digging crescents into your palms. you had to get out of here, and get out of there you did.

turning in the direction you'd come from minutes ago, you disappeared down the stairs, bolting to the comfort of your apartment. you shot eunseok a text later and make up an excuse, saying something came up on the way there. he never questioned it, thankfully.

[...]

remembering it made your shoulders sag, and you sighed for what had to be the 30th time that night, taking another swig from your beer.

of course you of all people would get rejected before you even had the chance to confess. you finally tuned back into the conversation. to your dismay, sungchan had begun to gush over his girlfriend of five years.

"it doesn't matter what i think, i'm already locked in for good." everyone rolled their eyes as he turned his phone around to show you guys pictures of his girlfriend, jiwoo, pictures that everyone had already seen a million times.

"isn't she so cute? i miss her, she's so busy these days."

huffing slightly, you felt your eyes waver over to the table next to yours. to certain brown haired boy, more importantly.

normally, eunseok would be drinking with you and your friends, but he was supposed to be getting to know some of the people in his major department better.

one of the students in question was doe-eyed underclassman sullyoon. your stomach turned uncomfortably as you watched her prettily laugh at eunseok's quips, covering her mouth politely and crinkling her eyes ever so slightly. it was impossible for you to look away as she unabashedly flirted with your best friend; the sight was almost nauseating.

jealousy tore through you, an eerie sadness filling you up from bottom to top. she was just his type, you realized, the epiphany making your mood even worse than it already was. today was the worst.

sullyoon's advances and your completely-not-subtle staring didn't go unnoticed by shotaro either.

"guess she's laid her claim on eunseok, huh?" he joked, nudging your side playfully. you dreadfully gulped down the last of your beer.

"how would i know?" you spoke gloomily, and a frown slowly etched itself onto shotaro's face as he put together the pieces in front of him.

his gaze remained on your dull figure for a moment longer before he suddenly sat up and gasped, grabbing your attention.

"guys, we're forgetting about the closest guy and girl here! aren't you best friends with song eunseok, y/n?" your eyes widen as shotaro's words boom through the bar. after a short pause, your friends went into uproar.

"hey, you're right, taro"

"do you like eunseok, y/n?"

"oh my god do you think they've kissed"

the words coming out of shotaro's mouth reached your ears almost in slow motion. your posture stiffened and you coughed roughly in shock, looking over to make eye contact with an unamused eunseok. his table had fallen into silence as well, everyone listening and waiting for what you had to say.

oh god, does he think i told him to say that? he's gonna think i like him. fuck fuck fuck.

alcohol tainted thoughts ran through your head as you panicked, trying to think of ways to shut down the conversation as quick as possible.

"you guys are crazy. me and eunseok could shower together and i still wouldn't catch feelings" seriously? that was the best you could think of?

berating yourself internally, you tried your hardest to fake nonchalance and act like that blatant lie wasn't tearing you in two. you glanced over at your best friend again, his expression unreadable. there was no going back; you really had to get over eunseok now.

tearing your gaze away from him, you downed the rest of your beer and glared at osaki shotaro's back.

[...]

"it's too earlyyyy we can't go home" chaewon half spoke and half shrieked, arm wrapped around sohee's shoulder.

"let's go to karaoke!" seunghan chirped, his suggestion earning cheers. you and eunseok both stepped away from the group, saying quiet goodbyes and excusing yourselves to walk back home. your friends cheered seeing the two of you walk away together, and you wished a hole would open in the ground and swallow you whole.

"god i feel like shit" you groaned, rubbing your forehead drearily. eunseok chuckled at your frazzled state, tugging the sleeve of your jacket and pulling you closer to him.

you held your breath as he playfully tugged the hood of your zip up over your face, laughing at the way you sputtered curses at him. the two of you bantered like this almost all the way until your place. when the two of your finally fell into a peaceful silence, you spoke.

"sullyoon seemed pretty into you." you craned your neck and tilted your gaze to the dark sky, hoping the boy next to you wouldn't be able to notice the sadness in your eyes. eunseok rolled his eyes at your question and coughed.

"did she, now?" playing dumb, he smirked at the way your gaze whipped to his face, staring at him incredulously. he hadn't helped himself to nearly as many drinks as you, a slight buzz coursing through his veins.

"i mean i found it pretty obvious." this time, eunseok laughed loudly. you really couldn't hold yourself back at all when you were wasted. your eyebrows furrowed and a blush ran across your cheeks at his laughter and response.

usually, you were pretty careful with how much you drank around your best friend, not wanting to unintentionally expose the feelings your fought so hard to hide from him.

unfortunately, past you did not anticipate shotaro's quips or the events of the past few days, the frustration leading you to allow yourself more drinks than usual.

the front door of your apartment complex came into view before eunseok could answer you. looking at your flushed face and droopy eyes, he decided it'd be best for him to help you to your place. the two of you rode in the elevator in silence, opening to your floor. you're face contorted in confusion as eunseok stepped out as well, hand coming to rest on your back as he led you to your unit.

"what're you doing?" you slurred at him. the fresh air had done nothing to sober you up, and eunseok rolled his eyes with a smile.

"making sure you actually make it to your bed." he fished your keys out of your pocket for you and opened the door to your small apartment. slightly tripping over your feet, you walked in and kicked off your shoes.

before you could even think of slumping onto the floor or your kitchen, eunseok grabbed your shoulders and led you to your room, laughing as you swatted his hands and sat on your bed.

you groaned as you leaned back and laid on your bed, exhaustion catching up to you. you brought a hand up to shield your eyes from the dizzying ceiling light. feeling the bed dip slightly next to you, you turned your gaze to eunseok. he was sitting right next to your laying figure, hand coming up to rub your shoulder lightly.

"cmon, you gotta actually get ready for bed." eunseok sighed and shook his head, pinching your neck and earning another groan.

after a painfully long amount of time, eunseok had managed to get you off your bed and into the bathroom. he helped your wipe off your leftover makeup and made sure you took out your contacts and brushed your teeth.

routine complete and pajamas adorned, you stood and stared at your awaiting bed, something stopped your from getting in and slipping underneath the covers.

eunseok turned off the lights in your bathroom and the rest of your apartment before returning to your bedroom with a glass of water.

"here, have some water." after seeing your stilled figure still standing next to the head of the bed, his eyebrows furrowed.

"are you okay?" the boy inquired. he reached his hand out to rest on the small of your back, but you turned and sat down on the bed before he had the chance.

"seokie..." you mumbled softly. eunseok felt his cheeks burn at the nickname the rolled off your drunken tongue. you'd only used it a few times -- almost always when you were intoxicated. eunseok never found it in him to tell you he loved it.

"i lied earlier, i'm sorry." you stared at your socked toes and eunseok's brows furrowed in confusion. lied? what is she talking about?

"about what?" you looked up to meet eunseok's eyes. they bored into you, sending a shiver down your spine as your mouth suddenly dried up. clearing your throat slightly, the secret you had been keeping for so long slipped from your lips.

"i can't shower with you." well, not quite. eunseok chuckled lightly at your serious tone.

"what? why does that matter?" he pried further, chuckling at your pout. you didn't find this situation amusing, all of the memories of eunseok rejecting you flowing back into your mind. letting out a tearful sigh, your face fell into your hands with a loud smack.

"i can't because i already have feelings for you!" eunseok's lazy smile dropped immediately, not only at the fact that you just confessed to him, but also because you were now crying into your hands.

"i like you so much, i'm sorry seokie. sohee was right about me." you sniffled and cried even harder into your hands, not realizing eunseok kneeling in front of you. your crying subsided as eunseok's hands wrapped around yours, pulling them away from your teary face.

"you're seriously something else." your best friend smiled at your teary eyes and red nose. even while crying you looked so adorable to him. you opened your mouth to whine at him but he placed a finger over your lips, continuing.

"i can't shower with you either, y/n" your face crumpled even more.

"because i'm not even close to your type! i already know that, you asshole." it was your turn to stare in confusion as eunseok laughed and shook his head.

"no, don't you get it?" a thick silence hung in the air as you racked your brain for any possible explanation.

because he wants to keep things platonic? no, that can't be it. or maybe ...

no.

does he... like me?

eunseok watched the gears turn in your head, seeing your face fill with realization before you spoke.

"do you l-" eunseok didn't give you a chance to finish your question, moving forward and swiftly capturing your lips in his own.

you made a noise of surprise before shutting your eyes, reaching for his shirt to pull him on top of you. eunseok was gentle as ever with you, laying you down on the bed slowly. hovering over you, he let his tongue run across your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth further open so he could taste more of you.

you sighed out in satisfaction as you felt his warm tongue explore your mouth. you don't know how long you'd been waiting for this moment. running your hands along the blades of his shoulders, you pressed them into his back, hugging him close as if he might disappear.

entangling his legs with yours, breathing the same air as you, eunseok wanted to capture this moment and lock it in his memory forever. he decided instead to let you know how he felt through his lips and hands, easing his fingers through your hair and sucking your bottom lip.

as he pulled away and the two of you watched the string of saliva connecting your lips, you wondered how you managed to bottle up your feelings for the boy above you for as long as you did.

twisting the hem of your shirt, eunseok looked into your eyes with a hooded gaze, drunk off of you.

"can i?"

[...]

opening your eyes slowly, you registered your surroundings. you were snuggled in bed, wrapped in your comforter.

as you mind flashed with the memories of the bar last night, you shot up in bed.

"morning." you screamed at the greeting, turning to see eunseok laying next to you in your bed, scrolling through his phone lazily.

"what are you-" you question was interrupted by a loud noise from the boy's stomach.

"ugh, i'm so hungry, lemme go pee and let's get something to eat, yeah?" eunseok fought to hide his laugh as he watched you scratch the back of neck in confusion.

[...]

you stared at eunseok intensely as he ate his burger and fries like a starved man. you and your best friend were seated in nearby diner. you wished you knew what eunseok was thinking; he hadn't brought up the events of the night before and you were starting to think they didn't even happen. not to mention your memory was pretty foggy following eunseok helping you to your room anyways.

you hoped nothing happened past the two of you making out; you'd really want to remember sleeping with eunseok if you did. looking up at eunseok nonchalantly sipping on his coke, your patience ran out.

"we didn't sleep together, right?" eunseok swallowed his drink slowly, letting your question hang in the air for the moment before answering.

"what do you remember?" he inquired and you exhaled shallowly.

"kissing. and you took off my shirt i think." the boy in front of you smiled. he was secretly very happy you remembered the night before. he'd be a little bothered if he was the only one who remembered your first kiss together.

"yeah, you passed out like right after that." he chuckled, watching your face turn bright red. chewing your bottom lip, you turned your focus back to your food. eunseok smiled softly at you. he thought you were too cute for your own good.

[...]

walking back to your apartment, you turned to eunseok.

"you never told me if you liked me." eunseok stopped in his tracks, turning to look at you in disbeilef.

"the making out wasn't enough of an answer for you?" he laughed as you smacked his arm, hoping no one passing by heard eunseok's crass answer.

"song eunseok!" smiling like you were the only person in the world, eunseok grabbed your hand and laced his fingers with yours.

"y/n, i like you too. will you go out with me?" swinging your arms, he pouted at you, waiting for answer.

"ugh, you're so corny." snatching your hand out of his grasp, you jokingly walked away from the boy, giggling.

"hey! you're the one with a crush on me!" he chased after you, laughing as he wrapped his arms around you and locked you in his grasp. turning in his arms to face him, you met his brown eyes and smiled prettily.

"i'd love to go out with you."

[bonus — the day eunseok "rejected" you]

"y/n.... she's nice and i like her. she's not even close to my type, though."

eunseok's words hung in the air as he searched for the right way to express his thoughts. just hearing your name made his cheeks flush pink. balancing his chin in his hand, he continued.

"somehow though, she seems prettier every time i see her." this earned a loud cheer from the two boys.

"eunseok hyung, you really surprised me." seunghan laughed at the eunseok's dopey smile.

"could you guys please keep it a secret for me?"

...

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